There’s this type of silence that accompanies betrayal. No, it doesn’t scream, it just simmers like a pot of soup after a boil.
I actually met Divine during my second week at the Rivers State University. She had this box braids that reached down to her waist, carried a tote bag that read “Soft girls don’t chase” and spoke like she had seen life in black and white; no vibrancy. Somehow, our energies merged. Me, Dinma, a bubbly queen, so open, the kind of girl who said “hi” to strangers and remembered birthdays; and Divine on the other hand, so quiet, looking skeptical, and very selective with her words. The direct opposites, I guess.
Everything was working at first. I helped her out with a Math 101 test; she saved me from embarrassing myself in public when my annoying lace wig nearly flew off during the Harmattan. We took so many long walks around campus in the evenings with our laughter so loud and contagious to everyone who heard it. I thought we were close. Like real close.
But every time I tried to do an introduction about her to course mates I knew, hostel neighbors, even my cousin Faith, she would freeze or tighten up. There was this one time, after we had a departmental event where I knew nearly everyone by name, she scoffed and said, “You always want to be seen, sha.”
I legit laughed it off. “You say it like it’s a crime to have people like you.”
She didn’t actually smile back, which was kind of creepy at the time. “Too many people knowing your gist is dangerous.” She said
Still, I didn’t think much of it. I just concluded that she was just a low-key girl who didn’t fancy noise. Not until the day everything spilled out.
It all started with Faith. She and I had a small disagreement about me borrowing her AirPods without asking. Honestly, it wasn’t that deep, but I think that day, Faith was tired, hormonal and her mood swings were everywhere, so it blew up into something else; a shouting match. Divine was just there, watching; as if she was waiting for something bad to happen.
Faith finally exploded, “No wonder Divine said you always want to act like a saint when you’re actually very manipulative. That you think you're better than everyone because people like you!”
I froze.
“What did you say?”
With folded arms, Faith replied. “You heard me.”
I cast an astonished look at Divine, who suddenly found her nail polish more interesting than the situation she had silently orchestrated.
“Divine, tell me you didn’t say that?” I asked her directly, wishing she would say I’m mistaken.
She didn’t deny it. “I mean... it’s not like it’s a lie.”
There it was. The green snake amongst the grasses. The sourness behind the friendship.
Everything began to finally make sense; the subtle jabs, the eyes she rolled when I talked to new people including the frequent narrative she gave that I was “too much.”
It wasn’t that she hated attention so much. She hated that I did not find it difficult to have it.
That night, I laid on my bed and I had put my phone on Do-Not-Disturb. I was avoiding replying to messages. A part of me wanted to just scream at her; like send her a voice note soaked in rage. But there was another part of me that had grown up watching people reveal their true self in the worst moments. That part of me just felt... sad.
The next day in school, on my way to class, I saw her standing under the cashew tree behind Social Sciences scrolling through her phone. She was laughing with two ladies from our faculty and without thinking twice, I nodded once and walked past her like a ghost.
***Later that week, she send a text:
“We should talk.”***
I left it on read. Because how was that ever going to be even possible. In my locality, we say: “that ship don sail abeg.”(That phase has passed, Please)
Because you see, there is this thing about sour grapes; they always taste bitter and it’s not because they truly are, because obviously they aren’t bitter but it’s because someone couldn’t reach them. And instead of opening up to say “I want that too,” they turn the narrative upside down just so they can call the grape a fraud and also accuse it of pretending to be sweet.
But I’m not a grape. I’m a whole vine. And you know what? Vines grow back stronger when you cut off the rotten part.
The resultant effect of that event was that I stopped letting people get so close just because they stood near. Now, I just watch more, trust slower, but laugh just as loud. Not because I am guarding myself, but because I indeed learned the difference between shade and shelter.
Divine must have learnt her lesson and ready for change, you should give her a chance and hear her out. Yes, most people close are the ones that betrayed us the most. Sorry about that. Nice write up 👍
No dear she didn't learn. She continued doing what made me stay away from her when she discovered I didn't want to give her a chance anymore. Thanks dear for engaging on my post.
Alright. You're welcome
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STOPThanks a lot
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Thank you!
I'm sorry. Divine probably wanted to be seen too but you were overshadowing her with your presence. Sometimes, things happen to set us free, I think the separation was better for the both of you, even though I know unlike charges attracts, so, she was someone who wanted to be seen too, then you guys repelled. I don't even know what I am saying right now. Excuse my blunders.
Good friends don’t hide things from each other. More reason why I introduced her to my course mates and other friends. So I don’t think she was overshadowed. You explain things to someone you call a friend and not gossip about them and term them “manipulative”. That’s bad.
Heart felt experience and well fitted illustration. Such is life as lessons revolve everytime.. Sour grapes are served everywhere but only if you wish to drink it. Lol...
I support @daeze-winnie on this one.
Exactly! ....only if you wish to drink it indeed. Thanks for engaging on my post.
She might find it difficult to make friends so easily like you and as a friend she could easily laugh with, share her problems and crack jokes. She feels open to you and kind of want you to just be like her which is not possible.
Which isn't possible. We are two entirely different persons with distinct personalities. Thanks for engaging in my post.🙏
Thanks a lot🙏
Nice story. I loved every bit of it.
thanks for stopping by.
Divine must have been saying so many things behind your back
She wants to be seen and I hope she shines😅
I hope so too. Thanks for the engagement.
Whoa, this was amazing, and I enjoyed every part of it. There are people like divine out there, always looking so gentle and innocent, but they can do things that would surprise you or have you disbelieving if you heard it from someone else.
We all have passed through that phase, but I am glad you learnt something from it, anyway, don't let it change who you are.
Don't let one bad experience change the whole you, you can learn, adjust, but don't let it change your personality that people have always loved.
I enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing.
Thanks a lot for the engagement. And yes I'm better off now. I'm now more outgoing than before.
That’s good to hear
And you’re welcome
Thank God you separated from her, some people act as if you stole their destiny, whenever the see you shine more than them. They forget that grave is differ
Honestly! But I'm happy I'm better now.
Hi daeze!
It's feels kinda warm to open your inkwell story first.
If I say I can't relate to your story, that would make me a liar.
I've seen myself here in so many ways, and I wonder why it's always the university friends.
I once heard something about myself from the very people I loved and trusted as friends.
It took a very long while to process all the information I was getting and still look at my friends in the same way.
It was difficult at first but since I couldn't confront them about it, I decided to let it go, not because I didn't trust the source, though there might have been a little mix of lies in it but because I just didn't want more troubles.
I was already half way done with friendship, I was tired of the constant betrayal and side talks just because I was different and everyone thought I was acting like a saint and was proud.
I did my best to stay away from troubles yet I had bitterness towards my so-called friends for a while, until I prayed about it and asked for the heart to forgive without even asking questions.
So I really can relate to your story and history with Divine.
She was just bittered about all the attention you were getting and how flawless you seemed to have been
It wasn't your fault people liked you, perhaps more than she, which could have also been the reason she acted that way and tried painting you black behind your back.
It's not your fault that your personality spoke highly of you, and because of that she felt intimidated, felt envious and thought the best way to bring you down was go about talking behind your back.
You see stars don't struggle to shine in darkness, so even while someone is trying to cast darkness on good people, they will still shine regardless
It's good that you decided to distance yourself from such friendship.
I've had my taste of good and sour friendship and I can tell you for a fact that genuine ones still exist and I hope you don't shut the door before everyone.
It's okay to observe from a distance but never draw the curtain or shut the door on everyone that lends a hand of friendship
I'm so speechless at this point. Firstly, thanks for the beautiful engagement. Honestly she was someone I saw as a sister. Like I called her my blood. I rarely go places without her. But I'm actually happy that betrayal didn't swallow me because honestly I fell into depression for quite a while before I could get a hold of myself. And like you said my dear, stars don't struggle to shine.
I am glad to know you bounced back after such a sad and disheartening experience.
Keep shining!