You always told me that nothing would tear us apart.
You always told me that you would be there for all the great moments of my life.
You always told me that you would be there to turn me right when I stray left.
Why did you leave me, in such short notice.
I never even got to say goodbye.
This is not the future we planned together.
At the center of a grave yard with dry leaves scattered everywhere, lay Jane on her mother's grave crying for hours. It has been four years, but this remained a regular routine for Jane. The bond she had with her mother wasn't the usual mother/daughter bond. They were connected to each other in a special way. They were best friends, sisters, lovers, they were everything to each other.
6:30
The alarm went off, Jane lazily snoozed the alarm.
6:40
6:50
7:00
:
:
7:30
6:50
7:00
:
:
7:30
She finally got up from bed sluggishly and walked over to the mirror. In the mirror, she wasn't alone. Her mother dressed her hair with a smile on her face. In Jane's head, she could hear echoes of her mother's laughter. In a split seconds, it all disappeared leaving her standing alone in the mirror. She broke down in tears.
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It had been the two of them against the world all along. Her mother had her at a very young age and her father bailed on them. She has gotten used to doing everything with her Mom. It was difficult for Jane to get through the day without breaking down in tears. Every single thing reminded Jane of her mother.
She forced herself to get ready for work. She walked into the kitchen which was a mess with dirty dishes and empty containers littering everywhere, mostly ordered food. She tried to fix something for breakfast, then realized that she was already late for work.
Without make up, a rough hair, a rumpled shirt and unironed skirt, Jane stormed out of the house without breakfast. She decided to make a stop at a Cafe.
"Dear child, how are you?" The coffee seller asked.
"I'm fine Mrs Grace. I need a quick coffee."
"Running late for work again. You know your mom wouldn't like you living this way. She wouldn't be happy to see you all tattered and unkept."
Jane ignored her, took the coffee from her and turned to leave.
"Wait!" Mrs Grace said as she put a warm nylon in Jane's hands. "This one is on the house."
When Jane boarded a bus to work, she realized that the nylon contained fresh baked sausage pie. She was so hungry that she brought out the pie and munched away regardless of the people in the bus obviously watching her. She could hear them whisper to each other.
"Isn't that Sophia's daughter."
"How could she be so mannerless."
"She would never behave this way if her mother was here."
"Why can't she just be like her mother and follow her steps."
As usual, Jane ignored them and got off the bus when it pulled up in front of her work place. She walked through the doors, she headed for the elevator as she walked past several people moving to and fro. On getting off the elevator, a man ran up to her.
"Jane, You are late again."
"I know Josh. You know how it is."
Josh kept running, trying to keep up with Jane who was walking really fast to get to her office.
"Yeah! You know I got your back anytime."
"I know Josh. I appreciate you always covering up for me."
Josh was still following Jane who realized that something was up. She finally turned around and asked Josh as he cut up with her.
"Is there something you want to say to me?"
"Uhhm, it's just that the Boss was in a lot earlier today and he kinda figured out that you haven't checked in for work."
"Damn!! Thanks Josh." Jane said as she turned to leave.
"Also, he ordered that you report to his office the first minute you get here."
She got into her office, dropped get bag and headed out to see her boss. At the door to his office, she straightened her clothes and tried to brush her hair with her hands. She knocked, and was asked in.
"Good morning sir."
"Gentle men, please give us a minute." Her Boss said discharging the men in his office.
"Sir you really don't have to discharge them. I can come back later."
"Jane, Sit down."
Jane sat down and kept mute.
"You know your Mom worked with us, and she did a great job when she was here. She brought you along to work for us and you both were awesome together. I know it's not easy to lose someone and I know the void she left may never be filled. But C'mon Jane, it's been four years. You can't keep doing this to yourself. How would you feel if your Mom could see you right now. If she was here, I'm sure you will do things differently."
"I don't want to hear that one more time!" Jane blurted out in anger.
"Excuse me?" Her Boss asked surprised.
Jane who have been silently tolerating this sort of talk from people all those long four years couldn't take it anymore. It felt like her heart exploded and she poured it out on her Boss.
"I'm sick of people expecting me to be like my mom. Tired of people saying; What would think, what would mom do, how would mom feel if she was here. Well guess what, she is not here! She decided to leave me, or God took her away. Either ways she is gone and it's just me now. I can never be like my mom, because she is extraordinary. She is her, and I am me. And if y'all don't like this me, y'all can go and bring her back from the dead."
With those angry words, She Stormed out of the office, went to her office grabbed her bag and left the building. She knew for certain that she would have to go in search of a new job soon.
Such a sad situation when we lose someone and we're unable to move on. Jane might need to find a place where no one knows her so maybe she could heal with time and move on.
It's neither her fault, nor the people who knew her mum's. Hopefully it gets easier for her with time.
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