I think the reason life is so much of a pain is that it never comes with the answers. It gives you a problem and goes, "Hey, be good and solve this without complaining okay?". Now that makes me want to rebel and just complain!
How many times have I faced a particular situation where I am forced to be the detective and navigate with little to no advise at all? Many times and the most recent one...
I'd had it with busy body tenants and a biased landlord. So, I told my mother that it was time to move. She was in agreement but then she had fears.
"What about the business?"
"Well, we move it with us."
In that moment, I had no idea what I was saying. I was just one girl talking big to alleviate the worry my mother must have been feeling. While I was excited to leave a place that has housed me for five years, I was scared out of my wits because where do we start?
Well, days later, I found the perfect place. According to me. It was a two bedroom apartment, situated in a GRA and we would have the whole compound to ourselves if we did rent the place. It was perfect except for one thing. We were moving the business too and the location was clearly bad for business unless I found a way to bring the customers to me. Not a bad idea. I had saved so much that it was enough (coupled with some borrowed capital) to carry out the plan I had in mind.
So, I set to work. I had just finished going over my business plan and decided to nap a bit because my eyes hurt from working all morning. When I woke up, it was almost 5pm. I decided to withdraw all the money that I had saved which was here on Hive in HBD.
I think my brain was still clouded by the sleep induced fog and I sent it as raw HBD to Binance instead of converting to Hive first. The moment I sent it, that fog cleared and,
"No! No no no no..."
I was ripped off my couch by the weight of that mistake. My mom rushed out from the room and asked what was wrong...
"Mummyka! It's gone. The money is gone."
She eyed me cautiously because she had the idea but she was silent. Once again, I was disappointing a woman I wanted to make proud of me. My legs gave way and my heart crashed against my ribs as I screamed into my pillow. I went from excitedly planning the next stage of my life to being thrown down into the pits of despair.
I called several Hivers I thought could help me and they did their best but in the end, Binance pulled the last card and just like I suspected, my whole savings was gone. HBD saved each passing day after tediously grinding on this Blockchain. All just gone.
My mom tried to encourage me but it didn't matter. I felt hopeless and useless. How do I start all over? They say look for the silver lining, but what about this moment right now is good?
It was dark. Metaphorically and literally. I got a call that night that we were traveling to Abuja for work the next day and for the first time in years, I felt the claws of depression. It was pulling at me, whispering all sorts of obscenities to me. Yet, I kept asking how I could turn the situation around. Despite this, how can I bounce back?
There was no answer, just my walls staring back at me with my heart in my throat as I replayed the events of the afternoon. What if I had waited the next day to make that transaction? Why didn't I just send the HBD to my plug like I normally do? Why did I decide to do it myself for goodness sake?!
That last thought ripped a sob from me as I curled on the couch and hugged myself. Is this God punishing me for my sins? Is he trying to humble me? What did I do? Was I not already broken enough?
The questions went from self-loathe to anger. I became incensed! In my head I began to ask God questions. Why me?! Yeah. It got to that point. Somehow, I managed to fall asleep, tormented by my thoughts that transformed into a hideous mare.
I was sitting in a dark room, but the events of that afternoon was playing. Like an endless loop. And my mom, she'd come rushing out but her face was contorted; twisted even. Her eyes blazed, dark and cold with anger and disappointment, "You're a disgrace!", she’d point at me and cry. I would run out of the house only to be brought back after running in circles. Over and over until I woke with a start.
My cheeks were wet and by the moistness of my eyes, I knew it wasn't just from the copious amount of sweat. I'd been crying. In my dream. The clock said 4am but we didn't leave till 11am. I stayed awake, plagued by the thoughts of the previous day and my nightmare. Could that be a vision of what my mother felt? Of what I am? What did the dark room signify? My future? Why do things never go my way?
Like a zombie, I went through the morning; avoiding my mother and people in general. Soon, I was at the meeting point for the journey and all I wanted was for the earth to swallow me. Throughout my journey, I had to will myself not to breakdown when my thoughts are drawn back to the question marks surrounding my life. I felt like porcelain.
But as I looked out the window of the Sienna at the passing scenery, It was like an epiphany. As cliché as it sounds, I was watching the rain fall and the cloud cover the top of the mountains when I got my answer. Right there in that bus, I realized that I would not be able to change what had happened. Neither could I go back. And I mostly could not blame others for my actions, especially God.
Despite the way my chest ached in that moment, I managed a small smile. I may not have the answers to the mystery that is my life, but I have the choice on how I respond. I called my mom immediately asking how she was doing and she excitedly told me that she was okay. Successively, she poured out the good news that she was able to get back the money from putting in certain calls. I couldn't believe it! Not that she called Binance. Ha! She just reached out to family.
I got home that night and she downloaded the details to me. Few days after, I got a call offering me a job 10x what I have ever received as pay in my entire life. Right now, I may not have all the answers to this mystery called life, but I have a choice. My choice is to live.
What an intense situation. That kind of thing can really happen to anyone. I've made so many mistakes in my life, that I can't even count them. It's of course sad when they do, but there's little more to be done than putting one foot in front of the other. It's obviously not God's fault, nor should you be hard on yourself. It's life.. and life is really really tough. I see you came to a similar conclusion. So I would hold onto your faith, don't take any unwarranted blame personally. People unfortunately say things when they are upset (it's not right, but it happens nonetheless).
Overall something like this can be difficult to come to terms with. I've made a big blunder in the past, which periodically still comes to my mind. Immediately I acknowledge that I made a mistake, it could have happened to anyone.. and that pondering upon it won't do anything. Let me not waste valuable time on it too. That's about the best I can personally do there. It seems to have helped me somewhat.
Then there's all your past success with regards "followers" etc. That's an awesome achievement that for example.. that I'd be stoked to emulate. Keep well my friend.
#dreemerforlife beemed down from #dreemport - to this #dreemer curated post :)
That was also the same thing I told myself (still tell myself). Mistakes are inevitable and must be made for a person to grow. ❤️ I guess that’s how we evolve yeah? And learning to accept responsibility too. I really love your comment ❤️
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That's most kind.. thank you @deraaa & @amberkashif ! A wonderful unexpected surprize indeed :) 🌻
❤️
🙏🏾Thank you
Oh, I know how it feels to lose all of HIVE's money! The good thing is that beyond the falls, there is always a new day to start. The only thing that has no solution is death. Greetings
Thank you so much for the encouraging comment. As long as we have breath, there is still hope.
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Thank you Buzzy ❤️
You bring us a #CNF that shows that when we stop wasting our energy fighting for or mourning things over which we have no control, we create space for the good to flow back into our lives. The way in which we respond to the curve balls that life throws at us is important. We can choose to curl up into a ball and waste the precious time afforded to us, or we can rise above it all. It seems that you and your mom managed to turn things around rather nicely. Congrats on your new home and new job! May they both bring you great joy and prosperity.
Thank you very much. I really appreciate your generous comment. And yes. Our response to Life is crucial to how things would eventually turn out
You see, good things happen all the time, so celebrate them!
I celebrate!!! Hahahaha. Thank you Eddie
beeg celebrate then!
Louder ...
You amazing woman. I'm so proud of you. For every setback and every disappointment, God is replenishing you with ten times what you post and that's because you never stop believing in yourself. Live on girl.❤️
Yeah. I am grateful for every small win. And each milestone. Thank you my love 😍
Well,nit do happen in this regards where dizziness would make you lost soany previous things. Anyways, what one needed to do is just to put oneself together as those things may be gone, but life still exists.
Thank you. Moving on is always the best
What a painful experience. Haaa. Reading this got me heartbroken. Thanks God everything turned out good at the end.
Truly, life is a mystery and no one has all the answers to the mysteries of life.
The troubles that come with life might look insurmountable, but our ability to find strength and build hope within the darkness is an inspiration. Thanks for sharing this wonderful story.
Thank you so much for taking your time with my story. I do believe that we would not face what’s beyond us.
Good thing you still have hope going forward #dreemerforlife.
It can be devastating. At points like this people have suicidal thoughts. Just thinking about how your months if hardwork went down the drain can cause depression. Honestly,in such situation, I would give up but giving up has never gotten any one anywhere.
I'm glad that this story wasn't a tragedy in the end. Amidst your sorrows, you learnt a lesson and life...life smiled upon you. I must say, you're one really brave human.
#dreemerforlife.
As the life was smiling down on me, I Dey feel like to deck am sha 🤌🏾. Because…😂
You’re right. Giving up is never an option 😊
You for just jeke am small, make im fear😂 so that next time😅
Seriously when I saw the description on Peakd, I knew I wanted to read more. I clicked. And I haven't regretted it.
I'm really sorry darling. But I'm grateful that God showed up in unexpected ways. He's trying to remind you that the thoughts he has for you are good and never evil, and he will always give you an unexpected end.
I do hope that you'll stop trying to worry about what your mum thinks of you. You are her child. Nothing can change that. Your dreams were indications of how you feel she thinks of you.
Congratulations on your job, darling. Please, bring home the bacon 🥓🤗
This bacon will only leave my pocket when we meet face to face 😂. Come and woo me with your pretty face 🥺🤌🏾
😂😂😂😂😂😂 crazy girl 😂😂😂
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Oh My ! I'm so sorry that happened to you and I'm glad it all worked out in the end 🤗🤗🤗🤗.
I guess we really don't have the answers but we ll keep moving taking one step at a time.
Love from @dreemport #dreemerforlife
Yes love. One step at a time. Hehe. Thank you 😊
Not quite the ending I was anticipating, with so much intensity and action in your story, I see a valuable lesson to be learned.
Mistakes are made, and there's nothing we can do about it. Sometimes there might not be remedy for the mistake made, we've made it, felt the pain and probably the only gain is learning from it.
Yes. Sometimes, the only gain is the lesson. Thank you 😊
I got the message of this writeup
Certain times we feel as though all is over but at that point, the breakthrough occurs.
All things work together for good. We learn from our mistakes and move on, hopeful that it will all end in praise.
Congratulations dear🎉🎊🎉 More wins I pray 🙏🏽 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽😁This brought joy to my heart @deraaa mighty proud of you. I am so happy like I was the one who had won a lottery. Once there is life there is hope right?
Thank you so much Whitney! I truly appreciate this beautiful comment of yours. And more wins!! 😁
The pleasure is mine Dera. Amen🙏🏽
It's a very sad thing that happened to you. I don't know if there exist any recovery options for it or not. I also lost some assets like you in the time when I started Hive journey but my amount was very little.