I remember one time I got invited to a Christian summit by a friend whose name was Bisola. I liked her and have made a few advances to let her knows that I wanted her but she kept giving me excuses to evade me. I knew she liked me too but Bisola's only reason for not wanting to be with was because according to her I am a Playboy and she didn't want to compete with all my numerous women.
Source
Is it my fault that women like me?
Or is it my fault that when one comes to taste the efficacy of my middle leg they go back to announce it to their friends who secretly wish to have me?
Don't hate the player, hate the game.
Bisola was a fine classic wine. The kind you only bring out on very rare occasions, the kind you want to take home to mama. Even the Managing Director was after her alongside other co workers even the married ones still tried their lucks to shoot their shots at getting Bisola. I tried convincing her that I was serious about being serious with her, how I'd take her as my number one woman. She said doesn't want to be number one, she wants to be the only one but I wasn't ready to be with only one woman.
Yes! Yes!! Yes!!
That shit scares the hell out of me. Coming home to same woman, sleeping with one woman, waking up to the face of same woman. It sure sounds exhausting just typing it out already. I do not envy married men who stick to one woman but secretly having meet ups with single girls, as a matter of fact I feel sorry for them.
Forgive me for digressing a bit, back to the summit. I went not because I wanted to but in a bid to impress my dream woman I'd do just about anything. While seated I could barely hear what the speakers were saying, I was constantly looking at my watch or fiddling with my phone but not for long so my host doesn't get upset.
Then came this speaker, he was fine young man just pushing his 40s. He's dress sense was apt and so was his oratory. He started talking about list of things every young mind should achieve before he hits 30, it got my attention because I wanted to know what I have missed or what I have done in the past 3 decades of my life. He went on and on, some things he said I agreed with and others not so much until he said...
As a young man, you need to posses an international passport whether you needed it yet or not.
Go check out that dream house in Lekki or Banana island, know its price worth and push yourself targeted towards it like a goal.
Walk into a car dealers shop and be in the know if how much that exotic ride you admire so much is worth.
My spirit was lifted. Not because I do not know the prices of apartments in Banana island or the names and prices of exotic cars but it just felt daring. The rush of blood as I imagined walking into an actual house for sell in the suburbs with an estate managed. Or the car dealer giving me a glass of wine as I'd pace around checking his wares.
The rest of the meeting didn't get my attention, not even the fine wine seated next to me. I wanted to try some new things. We left the hall and I was so grateful to Bisola for the invite, I dropped her off at her house and drove into my preparation of adventure.
The next morning was a Monday, I started seeing myself mean so much more I even over tipped the Uber that dropped me at work. First I started the process of my international passport. It seemed the easiest task, I checked the Nigerian Immigration site and got all necessary information I needed and soon I started my application.
I waited till Wednesday to go to the car dealers shop. To make a strong impression I booked for an appointment online and when asked the ranges of cars I was i needed, my voice almost betrayed me because I was mentioning names I had not even seen on our Nigerian roads only on musical TV and movies.
Where I drive Lamborghini to?
On which road?
Soon my appointment was booked for Wednesday with the car dealer and Friday with the estate agent.
On the Wednesday, I called my friend Oscar to come with me. I just told him I wanted to get any small ride, something that would take me to and fro work everyday. He was amazed I was mentioning going to the car dealer for something as trivial as that.
is that why you want to go to the car dealer's? I know a place where you'd get used cars imported from Cotonou na... And at cheaper rates too. Abi you're looking to get brand new one?
I refused to respond to him while we were seated in the Uber. This man cannot come and ruin my definition of Faith which is substance of things hoped for; evidence of things not seen. We drove on.
After following the directions of the dealership I had contacted as posted on their website, we were stopped at a business place that had a massive expanse of land lined with vehicles, different shapes. Sizes and colors. The reflection of the sun made the car's paint glowed. I dared not touch anything.
At the extreme was a 12 storied glass house that had the popular Mercedes Benz logo at the roof.
As we threaded the walkway Oscar whispered into my ears in pidgin
E like say you don hammer.
Abi that blog wey you dey do for Hive.io dem don pay you better money abi?
Which means: Seems like you hit some jackpot. Or could it be that blogging you do on Hive.io has started paying you good money?
I felt the sarcasm in his voice and I knew I was in for some serious mockery after this was over. I began to regret why I asked him to tag along.
We stopped at the front desk which was manned by a lady who looked more like a model than a receptionist. Her makeup suggested it was done by a professional the wig on her head I could have sworn could pay the 2 years rents to my apartment in Ikeja. As we approached her desk she stood up but didn't leave her desk.
Welcome to Lambert dealerships. How do you do?
She had that sonorous voice of a radio on air personality taking her afternoon shift to talk to her listeners while they had lunch. Oscar was already smiling back at her, well I don't blame him she had the most infectious smile i have seen and right now she was flashing it which made me wonder if it was for free in an establishment such as this one. She introduced herself and asked if we had an appointment so she could look it up in the records or if she had to book one for us.
I do have an appointment. Please check for Olabode Badmus Oguntunde.
She punched some keys into the computer on her desk and after confirming it she pulled the receiver of the intercoms and put a call through. When dropped the receiver, she showed to a space that had couches the kind we see in lounges. The space was serene with a plasma TV displaying softly adverts showing different cars specifications with a contented buyer giving 5star ratings to this establishment we were now seated in.
Its not too late to call it quits. Just make a fake phone call and reschedule the appointment. You're about to make a fool of yourself. Get out now while you still can.
I thought it was my no good for nothing tag along friend saying those words but when i turned to Oscar, his eyes was glued at the door leading to the reception, the room housing that model receptionist. My mind must be sounding those warnings to me but how come it sounded so much like Oscar's voice in my head?
I became quite uneasy. Indeed I picked of phone and excused myself from the present distracted company by my side and headed into the reception with the phone by my ears.
Hello! Yes.
No I can't make it for that meeting.
I'm in the middle of another meeting.
Really?
Chief is seated already?
OK, I'm on my way.
Please keep him entertained before I get there.
I dropped the supposed call and walked to the desk of the receptionist who was just ears away from where I made the virtual conversation.
I'm sorry I'll need to reschedule.
I'm needed urgently at the office.
Can we do this some other time?
Sure. I'll just book another appointment and explain to the manager.
Thank. You're such a darling
With that i didn't want anymore words, didn't know where it'd lead to before they ask for some sort of consultation fee or whatever it is they do here. I signalled Oscar who was keeping a keen eye on me so I don't snatch his newest infatuation. I waited for him outside while I tried to order another Uber to come return us back to Ikeja, Oscar took a little longer before coming out.
You don collect number abi?
E be like say you sabi your levels again. That girl go finish you.
Which means
You collect number right?
Seems you've forgotten your financial stance. That girl would ruin you.
At once, I regretted why I should be the one doling out advice. Oscar was quick to remind me how I brought him here to ridicule myself over something hand couldn't reach even if i stretched beyond limits. It was a sorry state I found myself. We had lunch in an eatery while we waited for our ride. Somehow I wasn't deterred, i was adamant that something good would come out of this adventure. My passport was in the process, maybe the car dealership didn't work out for me but onto the next one I planned on.
I had patronized the Uber service this week more times than I would in a month and here i was booing another order to the Estate management agency.
I tried to dress to look the part of someone responsible and loaded to acquire a property Lekki.
I wore a blue Brocade Jodhpuri Suit with Broches work, a piece I had ordered online and had only worn it once to a my Indian colleague's wedding. It wasn't so popular like the Italian piece but it was classy and the admiration I got that day earn me a one night stand. My shoes were also made of Asian leather deep browned in color like burnt honey. I threw on my shades, wristwatch and chain, sprayed my masculine perfume and was ready to knock some heads off.
Are you buying for yourself or for your boss?
This Igbo real estate agent asked me in his irritating eastern accent. Why was he asking me? Didn't my drip do the magic for him? If he doesn't look convinced well...
I am buying for my Uncle who resides in Dubai, he's returning home to Nigeria and needs a place of his own.
I lied.
OK, just give me some minutes and we'll be on or way.
I waited in reception for about an hour before he appeared and we got on our way.
He drove in his grey colored 2019 Ford Edge SUV with interior that smelled money. I acted as though it was a normal feel for me trying not to give myself away.
Soon we arrived.
He parked just beside the big black gate made of cast iron. A white Range River sports SUV was parked inside the compound of the duplex surrounded with flower pots of different sizes and shapes. It was obvious the present owner was female.
We were greeted by a lad not older than 22 years of age, her timidity suggested her to be the maid of the house.
Is Madam around
The agent with his igbotic voice inquired of the lad.
Before she could answer a voice from the balcony on the first floor interrupted.
Good to see you Mr Obinna.
Its been a while.
Good afternoon Miss Eniola.
How are you today
They went on to exchange pleasantries. However, she didn't leave her sitting position in the balcony.
I brought a potential buyer ma'am, he's uncle is planning on relocating from Dubai so we thought to by to check if this could he his new home.
Of course.
He's so cute. Please look on, I'll be joining you soonoooMr Obinna proceeded to show me around the exterior, the Garage with its automated door, mini pool and garden on half a plot behind the edifice. I was just taking pictures while my agent went in selling the uniqueness of the house and why it'll be good for my uncle.
Soon we were to inspect the interior. When we got inside, the aura changed. The decor was top notched and the chandelier spread its beams around itself touching every furniture, producing the feel of exquisite comfort.
Ah!!! Money good ooo
Miss Eniola soon joined us with all her gracefulness. She was well adorned with her jewelries, her hair neatly knotted backwards with her own hair but she left two strands on both sides of her face to fall freely on her chubby cheeks. She had big eyeballs perfectly lined with a dark shade mascara. She wore a fennel dress that had spaghetti strand on her shoulder exposing her arms and a good portion of cleavages. Her skin was milky and glowing under the chandelier, Oh the size of oranges on her chest were glorious and I wondered what sculpted frame she was hiding under this flowy gown.
She was beautiful.
I trailed her hands with my eyes to spot a wedding ring but it was empty, made sense as to why the agent referred to her as "Miss".
We were still checking out the sitting room when Mr Obinna received a call leaving me with Miss Eniola.
You're so handsome.
Thank you ma'am.
Am I not beautiful?
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