William yawned and continued with his work. He was already feeling sleepy but struggled to stay awake for a few more minutes to finish up what he was working on. He slipped the coffee that was growing cold already one more time hoping it would keep him awake. Soon his eyes couldn't carry him as he fell asleep. Juliana, his 10 years old daughter, was outside with her peers playing while her mum had gone to the supermarket to get some stuff. Juliana noticed smoke coming from the building. At first she thought it was her dad cooking until the fumes got stronger and fire burned down the wood from the ceiling.
She remembered her dad was inside and had slept a few minutes before she joined her neighbor's kids outside. She ran to the door and struggled to open it but it was locked, she could hear her dad's faint voice as he coughed persistently. She ran to her neighbor's house but everyone seemed to have gone out for the weekend.
She remembered her mum had once called her phone number to her hearing and she memories it. She tried to recall it, and after a few thoughts, she was able to collect the numbers.
She ran to the public telephone stand and dialed the number, she was relieved when she heard her mum's voice.
"Mum, dad is trapped in the house and the house is on fire" she said immediately.
intersting story, but you failed to show the part were mr william probably should be struggling getting out of the house, since, i think you are using a third-party-narrative point of view, also what caused the fire outbreak
iguess so
This is a credible appropriate narrative for the prompt,Unlikely Hero. There have been children who remembered the emergency number for police and fire. These children actually have saved lives. Good job!
Thank you for sharing this story with the ink Well community, and we appreciate that you engage with other authors.
I like this story very much, @dwixer. You develop the child's character well, created a credible scenario and finish it off with a reasonable resolution. All in all, a well-crafted, successful, enjoyable story!
Your writing is getting really good, my friend. You've been writing a lot in the last many months and it shows.
A story as well as a message to all of us how important it is to teach children to make decisions in the face of critical things. Thank you for writing it, @dwixer.
Of course...
Such great daughter Juliana is. If it weren't for Juliana's quick thinking, William might not have survived the fire.
Who knows how Juliana must have been feeling at that particular time when asked about his dad been trapped inside
Brave Juliana! It's good to teach our children some basic things like first aid, fire fighting and how to respond to emergency. In real life, cooking and lying on bed is dangerous especially when you are alone. Nice story
A smart girl there, she would have been confused like kids who barely know what to do in such a situation. Thank God she was able to save her Dads life.
And that taught other parents a lesson.
A good write up bro.
An nice story with a good moral. Kudos.
Hi @dwixer. A very well told everyday story. I loved it!
It has sensitivity, dramatic arcs and suspense. Juliana is a believable and brave character.
Also, the story has a good lesson for all parents.
Best regards.