Hello, @stormlight24!
As I read through your text I had the impression that you were speaking of someone all-powerful who had the power to mutate and experience time without hindrance.
What a great power this protagonist experiences; a power that turns to sand when he revisits his own history.
In the end, he is just a man who does not know what the meaning of aspirations is, or whether they are a way to deceive us while we are alive and while we are dying. We will die, as beggars die, having been a king or a poet.
These are questions without answers, or rather, with the only answer: we are all alone in life.
Someone who has lived through everything, created history and now is the time to give up on everything. Thanks for the nice words.