"Promise me that you will be happy even if I'm not on your side already.," you told me while you were holding your tears. I can see that you are struggling but I can sense that you still want to fight, but your body can't. Suddenly my tears fell and I didn't say a word, something pinched my heart that I don't know what. It's so hard for me to see everything in front of my eyes that you try not to cry because you knew that your time is near.
"Haha stop that, I can't promise that I will be happy but I love you to the point that I don't want to lose you. I know there are so many questions inside me that have not been answered. But please, don't forget me." I said I see that you smile before the monitor went into a straight line.
I suddenly woke up with tears in my eyes, this is your last day at the funeral. I can't afford to see you buried, I turned into shattered pieces especially when you already said goodbye, if I can only bring you back to life, I will do it so you don't disappear.
It's been 6 days without you, and I still dream of you. Those happy memories...I always remember them.
I wiped the tears from my eyes and I looked at the clock, I see that it was already 11 in the morning. I was thinking if I will come later on your last day or not. Every time that I see you laying there, and every time that I see your smiling face I can't help but cry, I can't avoid also wishing that you're still alive. You know, I can't live my life without you. You are the only person who listened especially to my grievances in life. You are the person, I mean the best person who accepted me despite everything.How do I get up? How? Please tell me, I can't do this anymore.
"Lizzy? Dear are you awake already?", I hear the voice of my mom while knocking on the door. I composed myself before answering, but I know she knew that I'm crying again. "Mom?, yes mom I'm already awake," I answered back. Mom opened the door and came to me, she hugged me tightly after that. "Dear, baby, I know it's painful and hard for you to accept. When your father died, that's also the same feeling that I felt then." and she started talking.
"You know, the life that we have right now is not permanent. There are times when you will meet some people who have become part of your life and that person is special, that person is destined to you but that person is also destined to return if where they came from, in heaven." Mom told me, I see that she has my father's picture on her left hand. I didn't notice it when she got inside my room. "What happened to you when my father died?" I asked. She looked at me and smiled, "I was just 21 back then and he is 27. And I am pregnant with you for weeks. I only found out that I was pregnant a week after he was buried. I can't accept the fact before, almost every morning and night I'm just crying. I tell myself that I wish I had been taken and not him. I was so devastated at that time." She explained.
I see the heartache in her eyes. even if she didn't say it, I know that everything was still haunting her...all of their memories are still hunting her. I saw her take a deep breath before she continued to talk. "I can still remember his smile, his voice, his smell, and everything." mom said, at that time I cried in front of her, confronting me that I feel the same. She held me on my shoulder and told me that she knows what I feel.
At night, I decided to go to the last funeral of the person I love so much. I see that many people love him, he has so many friends and I can't deny the fact that he's too lucky. I greeted his parents and I see the tiredness in their eyes. And after a few hours, they already gave their last speech.
When it's already my turn, I take a deep breath before standing up from my seat. As I got closer, my feelings got heavier and heavier and I just wanted to run away. I took the mic and spoke. "You are the best gift that God gave me, but sadly you were not meant for me either. It hurts so much on my part that you were suddenly taken, I'm not mentally prepared.." I stopped talking and looked at him laying.
"There are so many memories that I don't want to give p, but we both have promises to each other. Dear, even though you are gone, I'll promise you that I will keep those promises too. I always love you ." I've said and cried. His parents hugged me and they also cried.
I suddenly woke up when I felt someone lying down in front of me, and I saw the little handsome angel giggling. "Mommy look, I drew this!" and he showed me a drawing of me, his dad, and him. I hugged him tightly and decided to visit him at his grave.
"Manuel, It's already been 7 years. Your son looks like you really." I said and smiled. I also sat down for a while talking about other things that happened in my life. "God took you from me early, but you left a handsome angel that forced me to stay strong. Thank you." I said. I immediately looked at the sky because it looked like it was going to rain.**" I will go home, hon, I'll visit you again. I love you, I answered.
"I love you too, hon." I suddenly froze and looked at your grave. It didn't scare me, but it made me feel calm and contented, I smiled and said goodbye. I know you're happy wherever you are now.
Maybe, we two are destined to each other in fate. But you are destined to go back early to god. Our love story is the most painful experienced that I've got, but you are the best gift that he gave..and those are the promises that I want to keep.
Sometimes, something comes that will test us..but all that is to make us stronger. Even if you were separated by fate, the hearts of two people who love each other so much will never be separated, even if one of them has been taken away by a deity.
All contents were mine unless someone noted.
Welcome to the Inkwell community, @gyrag. Your story reveals deep feeling. The arc is good. It begins with sorrow and ends with reconciliation. We love it when writers bring sincere sentiment to their stories--and interesting characters.
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What a heartbreaking story, @gyrag. The narrator has experienced a deep and painful loss. We learn in the story that it is almost too much to bear, and yet when her mother shares her story of loss, she begins to see things differently, and to accept the loss and find her way again. Nicely told! Thanks for sharing your story in The Ink Well.
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I look forward to reading more of your stories.