I am sorry that you've been through a lot of pain and loss, but it's important to remember that memories, both good and bad, shape who we are.
I understand if you feel a mix of emotions when revisiting a place with such a complex history.
I hope you can take the opportunity to honor the past, cherish the good times, and find closure for the difficult ones.
Thank you for your kind words. Closure is sure needed if we must move forward in life.