@agmoore, this is such a lovely, poignant and painful story. We all carry burdens, guilt, misgivings, large and small... and what do we do with them at the end of the day?
You captured so much in this beautiful and sparingly written story. It's a truly splendid example of "show, don't tell," as he wrestles with his guilt, and we come to fully understand the root of that guilt without it being stated in so many words. That is an art.
There is something uplifting about this for me. I think it's his loyalty and devotion... perhaps too little and too late, but undeniable and unrelenting. And in some sense I think she cries because she finally receives the apology she deserved for so long. And maybe some part of her psyche knows that she is is one true love.
Hello Dear Friend,
I agree with your interpretation of Marisa's crying. Silence had to be his burden. There is a sort of Karmic justice in that. But when I wrote it, I imagined the tears indicating a couple of things. One was that awareness was there, somewhere, and both cruelty and kindness could be experienced although she did not have the capacity to articulate a reaction.
Also, Marisa in her final days felt on some level the love that he finally expressed and displayed toward her.
Guilt...what a prompt. Those of who refuse to experience it, I think they are missing an important part of the human experience. We're going to make mistakes, large and small. Do we repeat them, or do we learn from them? I think guilt has a role to play in that.
Your comment means a lot to me. I stayed up the night before publication trying to get the piece right, to have it express my intention. Thank you, @jayna, for reading, truly reading and understanding.