Hi @iammmema. I wanted to share a few tips and suggestions with you.
The first one is that you wrote this story for the fiction prompt and tagged it as fiction, but it appears to be a nonfiction story. Do you know the difference? Fictional stories are made up from our imagination about characters. If you read other fiction stories in our community, you will see that these are all stories invented by the authors. Nonfiction stories are real life stories, from our real experiences. (And in fact we have a requirement of community members that you read and comment on at least two other authors' stories for each one you post in The Ink Well.)
Here are some resources for you:
- Our catalog of storytelling tips (which is linked at the top of our prompt posts).
- Our article on creative nonfiction - explaining that this genre follows the same principles as fictional stories, with characters, dialogue, etc. The only real difference is that these are from real life.
So in other words, if you are writing a story for a fiction prompt, it should be an imagined story describing the experiences of imagined characters. If you write a story for one of our creative nonfiction prompts, it should be your real life experiences, told with action, dialogue and other storytelling techniques like fiction.
Here's a helpful reminder about these topics that appears in each of our monthly newsletters (like this one from October):
Also, I recommend that you review and edit your first paragraph, as it does not make sense.
Hopefully these tips are helpful.