Where did I go wrong? Was it in consenting to live under the same roof together, sharing each other's secrets or being overly calm even when things were getting out of control. I just couldn’t put my finger on when exactly the cracks started appearing or what led to the rift in our relationship.
Sade, Bimbo and I were tight friends, we were referred to as the "power trio". We were fresh graduates from the university, waiting for our call-up letters for the mandatory one year service to our fatherland, it finally got to our batch and we were all posted to serve in Lagos State, Nigeria.
It was too good to be true.!
We jumped for joy, excited for another phase of our lives being actualized. But there was an issue—the apartments we were going to stay in while we served, we didn't want to stay in the corper's lodge, no no!. Rent was high, getting three different apartments was not feasible and there was no time to spare.
"Let’s take an apartment and divide the rent into three equal parts, that way, we won’t have to stress over paying rent individually" Bimbo suggested.
"Ahh, that’s a good suggestion. It’s not like we are strangers, it would be nice if stayed together. We will be able to conserve money too" Sade added.
I was not used to living with people because I loved my personal space. But I did not have a choice, rent was high to afford alone and I felt it was a good idea to switch things up a little, by living together
"Okay, let’s do that" I said.
"You girls seem to be very close, are you sisters?" A light-skinned girl said in camp as she sat beside , Sade and I.
"No, we are just friends" I replied
"Yes, we are sisters" Sade replied almost immediately, overshadowing my response.
"Hahahahaaa, I’m guessing you both are close friends with that girl over there" The light skinned girl said as she pointed towards Bimbo.
Is there a problem?" Sade asked as she gave her a sarcastic look.
"A problem? Not at all. I’m just envious of your relationship with one another and it rejuvenates the hope in me that I’ll have genuine friends some day"
"Thank you" I replied.
"You can join us for dinner"
"Oh really? I would absolutely love that. By the way, my name is Annabel, Ann for short"
We met up for dinner, chatted for a while and called it a day.
In no time, we got a suitable apartment within our budget and moved in. We took turns in ensuring the house was clean, we contributed to buy foodstuffs and anything at all needed for the house
A month and some weeks of living together, I began noticing some very dirty habits. Bimbo and Sade were not conscious about keeping the house clean. I considered talking to them, maybe they would take corrections
My pieces of advice fell on deaf ears, they infact became worse than I had imagined. I started reacting terribly—I itched all over my body everytime, I felt irritated in the house, it was just too much for me
*"Today is Saturday, should we not be doing some cleaning? We have not swept or cleaned this house in the past two weeks…" I said angrily.
"I’m tired, I’ll do my share of work later" Sade said and walked out.
"Does it matter if we haven’t cleaned the house in weeks? That’s the least of my problems now" Bimbo replied.
"What about the plates that you’ve left in the sink for three whole days now? Does that not matter too?"*
Bimbo hissed and walked out also
Things had turned around for the worse after a month of living together with them. Bimbo and Sade kept dirty dishes for days, they kept soaked clothes in water for days until they started emitting an offensive odour, cleaning the house or cooking was totally out of the question.
This was where the problem reached its peak, I didn't see this coming at all
*We argued almosy everyday, went on days without uttering words to one another, It felt like I did not know Sade and Bimbo anymore. I felt suffocated at some point—that was my cue to start hunting for my own apartment.
I did everything alone, they became non-chalant about anything that involved taking care of the house, like they did not live there. I endured for some months until I was able to secure my own little space
It was then it dawned on me that i made a grave mistake by agreeing to stay under the same roof as them. And also that to maintian a relationship, a bit of distance sometimes is required
Thank you for reading.
It's so sad the beautiful relationship between you and your two friends broke up. But hey it was no fault of yours. All the blame's theirs and it's good you were able to ease yourself out of the friendship when it became unhealthy. Just to protect your mental health. You deserve better. Thanks for writing.
I agree, thank you.
What a touching, honest and true story. Sometimes love and friendship require boundaries no matter how hard it is to set them. Thank you for sharing. I loved reading it.
Boundaries should be set in every relationship to avoid clashes.
There is a saying here that says, if you want to really know a person, live under the same roof with them. Unfortunately, you learned that truth from your friends and I imagine it was very disappointing.
Thanks for sharing your experience with us.
Excellent day.
I was disappointed indeed.
Hm this felt like the room I lived in when I was at the university
Everything felt odd the moment we stopped becoming friends
It was crazy
You get to know the true character of a person, when you’ve lived under the same roof as them.
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Thank you.
Three, actually is a crowd, even if you live with your siblings you will still have issues. Thank God you make a decision fast, those two would have connived against you later
That breakup was unfortunate.