They say the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the arms of love. But I'm not so sure about that. What happens if those arms tighten, no longer a source of comfort, but of suffocation?
I met David just a few days into my National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) assignment at a local school.
In an unfamiliar surrounding away from home, David became my first and only friend. He was a fellow corper also living in the school apartments, so he stepped in to help me clean my apartment, and get settled. His assistance didn't go unnoticed, and I couldn't help feel a sense of gratitude for his assistance and friendship.
He wasn't the only corper assigned to the school, but he was different, he was someone I could count on for anything and everything, someone I could talk to freely and laugh with, especially at night when we would talk and laugh so much. In the morning, we would leave the lodge together, and head to school main building to teach the students.
Our friendship grew so close that people began to think that we were dating, even though we weren't. I always corrected them, but David never did.
One evening, as we made our way back to the lodge, David finally opened up, and confessed his feelings for me. He said he'd been into me for a while, and wanted me to be his girl. I was caught off guard and left with a mix of emotions: surprise, curiosity, and maybe even a bit intrigue.
After a couple weeks of pondering David's confession, I finally decided to give us a chance as a couple. Our relationship quickly blossomed, bursting with love, trust, and all the beautiful feelings that come with a happy relationship.
Just a month into our blissful relationship, I shared David's photo with my mom, introducing him as my boyfriend. But her reaction caught me off guard. "Does he smoke?" She asked, her voice laced with concern. I assured her he didn't, but she persisted, urging me to double check. I promised I would, but my mind was racing, what made my mom think that way?.
Determined to put my mother's worries to rest, I talked to David about it that evening. To my dismay, he confirmed that he did, indeed, smokes, but not frequently.
I didn't want to lie to my mother, but I also couldn't bear the thought of losing this beautiful relationship. So I decided to bend the truth, telling my mother that David had quit smoking, keeping the fact that he still does, but rarely.
Our romance continued to flourish, until a shift occurred. David started to run low on cash, and I found myself shouldering the financial burdens of our relationship, leaving me to foot the bills of our meals, alone.
"You know I'm a man, I have other responsibilities" was his only explanation to how he spends his NYSC allowance. My own allowance and parental support couldn't keep up with the unexpected burden of feeding us both, so often times, we starved.
Despite the mounting difficulties, my feeling for David held strong. As we approached the end of our service year, we made sure to spend a lot of time together before parting. David lives in Lagos State, and I, in Delta State.
I returned home with empty pockets, leading me to begging my younger siblings for WiFi to access the Internet, just so I can come online and talk to David.
Few weeks after returning home, I received a text from David telling me that his dad wanted to speak to me, and would ask me if he (David) gave me any money, he asked me to reply with a yes. I was confused, thinking he maybe sent the message to me by mistake, I have never spoken to David's father before, so why would he call to ask me if David gave me money? Why did David want me to lie? I was feeling confused and anxious
The call from David's father did come, the conversation was clipped, like a quick exchange of password, not a meeting of potential family. "Did David send you twenty thousand naira?" His father asked. Without hesitation I lied, unsure of the repercussions of a 'no'. He thanked me, and hung up. No introduction, no question about me. I was left feeling a bit of a player in a story I didn't understand.
Who did David really send the money to? Or what did he use the money for, that I had to lie about it?
When I questioned David about it, he just brushed it off as his father mistrust for him. That was the first and only time I talked to anyone in David's family.
As time passed, David shrouded character began to unravel. His insults and put-downs became more frequent. I found myself switching to earphones, discreetly hiding his verbal words from my mom discerning ears. The last thing I needed was her confirmation of what I already knew deep down: that David's biting tongue was nothing more than disrespect masquerading as humor.
Six months into our long-distance relationship, an unexpected opportunity arose - a job interview in Lagos. Though the invitation was accompanied by an offer of accommodation, my mind leapt at the chance for more than just career advancement. Finally, I could see David face-to-face, feel his warmth, hear his voice. I had hoped he would invite me to his house, so that my stay in Lagos would be longer. The idea lingered in my mind.
As I shared the exciting news with David, eager for our reunion, I was shocked when he revealed to me that he wasn't living in Lagos at all, but in Ogun state. He claimed he had lied because he knows girls loves Lagos boys.
I was very angry with him that I didn't talk to him at all. I went and came back home from the interview, and I still didn't speak with David.
He didn't speak to me either. After a week of ignoring each other, I decided to reach out to him, and even apologised for ignoring him, but I received no response. I tried calling, but I couldn't reach him either.
I was very worried about him, I did not have any of his friends or family phone number, because I never met anyone he knows, so I could only pray and hope he'll be alright.
Three weeks later, I finally received a text message from David, I was beyond happy when I saw his name appear on my notification bar, but my happiness was replaced when I saw what the message contained. I felt overwhelmed with sadness and anger as I read the words.
In his text, David claimed he had been at the mountain for the past nine days praying to God for guidance concerning our relationship, and alas, God has revealed to him that I wasn't the one for him. He said, God told him that I would bear no children for him, and that I'll only cause him problems. He went further to add that, God also told him that he'll be poor for a long time, and because he (David) loves me, he won't want me to suffer in poverty with him, so we should both go our own way.
He was ending our relationship, using God's name, that I could not argue.
David's sudden claim of deep devotion to God was surprising, to say the least. He had always shown little interest in religion, and I had stopped attending church services during our youth service, because he never liked going to church.
I was sure that his story about spending nine days on a mountain was nothing more than a fabricated excuse.
His words stung deep, I found myself drowning in a sea of tears, unable to escape the pain of his rejection. I had loved David deeply, had seen a future with him that was now reduced to ashes in the wind. The sorrow consumed me, and I struggled to find a way forward without him
But, in the end, David's words left me wounded, but not heartbroken. I had loved him with all my heart, but he had chosen to walk away. And while the pain of his rejection would linger for a long time, I knew that it was not the end of my story.
It was simply a chapter, painful and difficult, but a chapter nonetheless.
Thanks for reading 😊
IMAGES WERE GENERATED USING META AI
Posted Using INLEO
Red flags are easy to discover In any relationship because the moment you discover David smoking, you should have taken more step to find out more about it. All good. A broken relationship is better than divorce
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