Hysterectomy
One doctor referred to another and this one referred to another. In the end, the doctor suggested a hysterectomy. As always, accustomed to putting the health of others before her own, my mother flatly refused to have the operation, since my father needed it:
"Just because my father needs you, you must be at 100%",_ we made her see.
"But without me, the house would fall apart, who is going to accompany Julio to the dialysis and December is coming, who is going to be in charge of preparing everything,” asked my mother, sure that she could not delegate her responsibility to anyone.
Each one of us, we are four daughters, we assured her that we would do everything she did and we would do it the way she wanted. In mid-December, my mother was taken to the clinic for her hysterectomy.
"Fetch me the towel and soap, I feel dirty",_ she ordered me.
"The doctor said you could not get up, so I am going to clean you with some wet towels,” I informed her and my mother, although she would have liked to refuse, did not have the strength to do so.
While I was passing the wet towels, I could see my mother's embarrassment as she was cleaning her naked body, so I tried at all times to make her comfortable with the experience:
"I was thinking of making you some oatmeal and having you eat it with cereal or crackers. Also tomorrow I'm going to bring flowers from the garden, because I didn't tell you that the lilies are in bloom,” I spoke without stopping so as not to give her a chance to think otherwise.
"I am not useless",_ she cried tearfully, _"I don't want to be a burden to you".
At these words we were all petrified, but after the first impression, we understood her fear and feeling. So we sat by her side and made her see that she needed care so that she could continue to take care of everything and everyone:
"Let yourself be loved!" -I told her and hugged her tightly. Mom understood that she had to be cared for and so she was.
From that moment on, we looked for a way to take care of mother, without neglecting father. For this, I was in charge of the menu that the doctor had prescribed for her, as well as all the food in the house; my other sisters helped her bathe and put on her clothes, and also took my father to the dialysis. The softest and most comfortable armchair in the house was next to her bed. The biggest TV was also brought into the room. And most especially, every day, all their daughters were there, around the parents, spoiling them and looking for ways to make them comfortable and happy.
I remember that that December, more than being aware of the decorations or the party, we were more aware of being united. Because being united in joy was easy, but it is in adversity where we see true union.
All images are free of charge and the text is my own, translated in Deepl
Thank you for reading and commenting. Until a future reading, friends
Click here to read in spanish
Histerectomía
Hay historias que no sabes cómo comenzaron, solo sabes cuándo terminaron. Entonces empiezas a decir que un día cualquiera, por casualidad, mi mamá se desmayó en la casa. Menos mal que papá estaba con ella y pudo socorrerla a tiempo. Este hecho fortuito, hizo que mi padre, obligara a mi mamá a ir al médico. Por supuesto que ella al principio se negó, ya en ese momento, mi papá era un enfermo renal y mi madre era la que lo acompañaba a hacerse las diálisis por lo que utilizó esto como excusa para no ir. Sin embargo, insistimos tanto, que al final tuvo aceptar.
Un médico remitió a otro y este a otro. Al final, el médico sugirió hacer una histerectomía. Como siempre, acostumbrada a anteponer la salud de los otros a la de ella, mi madre se negó rotundamente a hacerse esa operación, ya que mi padre la necesitaba:
_Justamente porque mi padre te necesita, debes estar al 100% -le hicimos ver.
Pero sin mí, la casa se vendría abajo, quien va a acompañar a Julio a la diálisis y ya viene diciembre, quién se va a encargar de preparar todo -preguntó mamá segura de no poder delegar su responsabilidad en nadie.
Cada una de nosotras, somos cuatro hijas, le aseguramos que haríamos todo lo que ella hacía y lo haríamos como ella quisiera. A mediados de diciembre, mi madre fue llevada a la clínica para hacerse la histerectomía.
La gran responsabilidad fue cuidarla, ya que mi mamá no estaba (no está) acostumbrada a recibir atenciones y el médico había recomendado que no hiciera ningún esfuerzo físico, por lo menos por tres meses. El mismo día que salió del quirófano, quería levantarse y bañarse. Recuerdo aquella conversación en la habitación:
_Búscame la toalla y el jabón que me siento sucia -me ordenó.
_El médico dijo que no podías levantarte, así que voy a limpiarte con unas toallas húmedas -le informé y mi madre, aunque hubiese querido negarse, no tenía fuerzas para hacerlo. Mientras pasaba las toallas húmedas, yo veía la vergüenza de mi madre al ver que limpiaba su cuerpo desnudo, así que intenté en todo momento, hacerle cómoda aquella experiencia:
_Estaba pensando hacerte una avena y que te la comas con cereales o galletas. También, mañana voy a traer flores del jardín, porque no te dije, que florecieron los lirios -hablaba sin detenerme para no darle chance de que pensara otra cosa.
A los dos días que volvimos a casa, mamá tuvo una explosión:
_Yo no soy una inútil -gritó llorando- No quiero ser una carga para ustedes.
Ante estas palabras todos nos quedamos petrificados, pero luego de la primera impresión, entendimos el miedo y el sentimiento de ella. Así que nos sentamos a su lado y le hicimos ver que ella necesitaba cuidados para que pudiera seguir cuidando de todo y de todos:
_¡Déjate querer! -le dije y la abracé fuerte. Mamá entendió que debía ser atendida y así fue.
Desde ese momento, buscamos la manera de cuidar de madre, sin descuidar a papá. Para ello, yo me encargaba del menú que le había indicado el médico, también de todas la comida de la casa; mis otras hermanas la ayudaban a bañarse y ponerse la ropa, también llevaban a mi papá a la diálisis. La poltrona mullida y más cómoda que había en la casa, estaba al lado de su cama. El televisor más grande también fue llevado a la habitación. Y muy especialmente, todos los días, todas sus hijas estaban allí, alrededor de los padres, mimándolos y buscando la forma de que estuvieran cómodos y felices.
Recuerdo que aquel diciembre, más que estar pendientes de la decoración o la fiesta, estuvimos más pendientes de estar unidos. Porque estar unidos en la alegría era fácil, pero es en la adversidades donde vemos la verdadera unión.
It's really difficult to take care of older people when they're a little stubborn... I've been through similar situations. But, I hope your parents are okay after all
Yes, it is very difficult, especially because as they are our parents, we must respect them and sometimes they get very spoiled. Greetings
It is difficult for a mother to accept that she needs care from her children. I liked how you developed your story because it is beautiful to see how you came together to make her feel comfortable and loved.
Thank you @nancybriti1 for sharing it.
Regards ✨️
One of the most emotional moments that I didn't develop much was when I had to bathe her, wash her. A woman's bond was created between me and her. Thank you for your comment. Greetings and happy new year, friend
That's a very intimate moment, it happens to me now with my mother who is 89 and needs help.
Thank you so much, likewise may this year 2025 be a very happy and fortunate year for you and your family.
Thank you for your appreciation, friends. Happy New Year to all
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Thank you!
The truth is that caring for parents after what they gave us is very rewarding, especially in circumstances of illness when they need us most. It is very nice that you have united around your parents and strengthened the bonds of love.
Thanks for sharing your experience with us.
Happy Holidays.
It is certainly nice and rewarding to repay our parents' care, but it is also difficult because they can be stubborn. Beautiful holidays
You all showed care and a great element of welfare to your mum. This is what she can never forget in her life.
Above all, comfort is what we all need.
I enjoyed reading every bit of this story and so much to take home also
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