Marina achieves one of her goals>
Marina is a native of Cumaná-Venezuela, since she was very young, she lived with her mother in rented houses, many times, they did not have enough money to pay and they were sent to vacate. In one of those urbanizations where she lived with her mother. When she was a teenager she met Peter, a young man with whom she had a romantic relationship. Soon after, they were evicted. They left secretly, they had no money to pay. Marina cried inconsolably, she loved Peter too much, her eyes shed tears, similar to Niagara Falls. In that pilgrimage with her mother, she studied at the university and graduated. Soon after, he began to work as a chemistry teacher at the same institution.
From a very young age, he dreamed of traveling to San Cristobal to enjoy the Feria Internacional del Sol, also known as the bullfighting carnival of America. But her mother's financial resources at that time were insufficient.
Over the years, Marina married, had a son and, after ten years, divorced. She stayed living with her son and her mother in an apartment, which she bought when she was single and gave to her mother as a gift. In her spare time she sells real estate, which generates a good profit, in dollars, on every sale she makes.
Last year, since he earned a good income, he organized with his son txo travel to San Cristóbal, to the Feria del Sol, taking advantage of the fact that the Mayor of that city decreed Wednesday, Thursday and Friday as non-working days. Plus the two carnival days. She invited her mother, but she did not accept because she does not like the cold.
On Wednesday afternoon, with his son, she boarded the plane and in a couple of hours they were in that city, they arrived at a five star hotel. They rested. The next morning, they had breakfast. Immediately, she called a car rental agency. Soon after, she went to pick up the car and together with her son drove it to the sun fair.
When they arrived, she was ecstatic to see so many people. As soon as the bullfighting activity started, she didn't like it, because she considered that there was a lot of mistreatment of these animals. A little angry, she left.
Then she invited her son to the ice cream parlor. From there they went to the amusement park, where there was a Ferris wheel designed in the shape of a star inside, seats that had a safety bar, which is adjusted with a button, so that when it turns, those who go inside do not get out. She, accompanied by her son, climbed onto the star. She adjusted the safety bar.
When the star began to spin. She felt a cold in her stomach, frightened, and from her throat, she shouted: "¡Stop, please!" The star did not stop, because it was programmed to stop at a certain time. A shiver ran through her body making her tremble like the leaves on the trees,in whirlwind times.
.
When she got off the star, she could not walk, she felt dizzy and nauseous, her face paled like the pallor of the magnolia flower. Her son took her by the arm and sat her down on a cement seat. At that moment Peter passed. He stared at her and asked:
Are you Marina?
She answered with her eyes lost in dizziness:
"Yes, and who are you?"
Peter, very excited, answered:
"Peter, remember we were sweethearts when we were teenagers!".
She, sleepily said:
"Ah, yes, I remember you now, but I still feel sick"
Peter added:
"Wait for me, just a second, I'll buy you a Cold Tea", he rushed out and in a few seconds, brought it to her. He patiently made her drink it. After a while she felt better. Peter invited them to a baseball game and later they went to a soccer game. Then they watched a domino tournament.
So the day passed, at the Fair, he said goodbye: "See you tomorrow, in this very place". Then she and her son went to rest.
Every day they went to the fair, where they met Peter who accompanied them to various cultural activities: folkloric, musical, so they spent those days in that excellent fair. She said to Peter:
"In these days that I have attended this Sun Fair. I have felt like the happiest woman on earth, because I have achieved one more of the goals I have set for myself."
Peter smiled, with an expression of happiness showing on his face.
he replied:
"I congratulate you" Then he said to her:
"Fate separated us, I looked for you and never found you. If I had found you, I would have married you and that child would have been my son, the one I didn't have, my wife is sterile."
She answered him:
"That is impossible, I do not feel a shred of love for you, go your way, I will continue in the company of my son, it is better to walk alone than badly accompanied."
He let out a laugh, "Ha,Ha,Ha!"
They said goodbye and she and her son returned to their city to fulfill their various activities.
I used the translator DeepL
ESPAÑOL
Marina alcanza una de sus metas
Marina es oriunda de Cumaná-Venezuela, desde muy pequeña, vive con su madre en casas alquiladas, muchas veces, no tenían suficiente dinero para pagar y las mandaban a desocupar. En una de esas urbanizaciones donde vivió con su madre. Cuando era una adolescente conoció a Peter, un joven con el que tuvo una relación amorosa. Al poco tiempo las mandaron a desalojar. Se fueron a escondidas, no tenían dinero para pagar. Marina lloró inconsolablemente, amaba demasiado a Peter, sus ojos derramaron lágrimas, similar a las cataratas del Niágara. En ese peregrinar con su madre, estudio en la universidad y se Licenció. Al poco tiempo comenzó a trabajar como docente de Química en esa misma Institución.
Desde muy joven soñó con viajar a San Cristóbal a disfrutar en la feria Internacional del Sol, conocida también como el carnaval taurino de América. Pero los recursos económicos de su madre, para aquel entonces, eran insuficientes.
Con el transcurrir de los años, Marina se casó, tuvo un hijo, a vuelta de diez años se divorció. Se quedó, viviendo con su hijo y su madre en un apartamento, que ella compró, cuando era soltera, y se lo regaló a su madre. En su tiempo libre se dedica a la venta de inmuebles, lo que le genera una buena ganancia, en dólares, en cada venta que realiza.
El año pasado, como obtuvo unos buenos ingresos, se organizó con su hijo, para viajar a San Cristóbal, a la Feria del Sol, aprovechando que el Alcalde de esa ciudad decretó el miércoles, jueves y viernes, como días no laborales. Más los dos días de carnaval. Invitó a su madre, Ella no aceptó porque no le gusta el clima frío
El miércoles en la tarde, con su hijo, abordó el avión y en un par de horas estaban en esa ciudad, Llegaron a un hotel Cinco estrellas. Descansaron. A la mañana siguiente, desayunaron. Inmediatamente, llamó a una agencia de alquiler de carros. Y al poco tiempo fue a buscar ese auto y junto a su hijo se dirigió a la feria del sol.
Al llegar, quedó extasiada de ver tanta concurrencia. En instante comenzó la actividad de los toros coleados, esa actividad no le gustó, porque consideró, que había mucho maltrato hacia esos animalitos. Un poco enojada, se retiró.
Luego invitó a su hijo a la heladería, De allí se trasladaron al parque de diversiones, había una rueda diseñada en forma de una estrella dentro de ella, asientos que llevaban una barra de seguridad, que se ajusta con un botón, para que al girar, esta, los que van dentro no se salgan. Ella, acompañada de su hijo, subió a la estrella. Ajustó la barra de seguridad.
Cuando aquella estrella comenzó a girar. Ella sintió un frío en su estómago, atemorizada, de su garganta, emitió un grito: “¡Por favor pare!”. La estrella no paró, porque estaba programa para pararse en un lapso de tiempo determinado. Un escalofrío recorrió su cuerpo haciéndola temblar como las hojas de los árboles en tiempos de torbellino
.
Cuando se bajó de la estrella, no podía caminar, sintió mareos y náuseas, su rostro se tornó pálido como la palidez de la flor de la magnolia. Su hijo la tomó del brazo y la sentó en un asiento de concreto . En ese instante pasó por allí Peter. Se la quedó mirando y le preguntó:
¿Tú eres Marina?
Con la mirada pérdida por el mareo respondió:
“Sí, y tú ¿quién eres?”
Peter, muy emocionado, respondió:
“¡Peter, recuerda que fuimos novios, en la adolescencia!” Ella, soñolienta dijo:
“Ah, sí, ahora te recuerdo, pero aún me siento mal”
Peter agregó:
“Espérame, un segundo, te voy a comprar un Té frío”, salió corriendo y en breves segundo, lo trajo. Con mucha paciencia hizo que lo ingiriera. Al poco tiempo ella se sintió mejor. Peter los invitó, a un partido de beisbol y más tarde fueron a un juego de futbol. Luego presenciaron un torneo de dominó.
Así transcurrió el día, en la Feria, él se despidió: “Mañana nos vemos, en este mismo sitio”. Luego ella en compañía de su hijo se fue a descansar.
Diariamente, acudían a la feria, allí se encontraban con Peter que los acompañaba a diversas actividades culturales: folclóricas, musicales, de esa manera transcurrieron esos días en esa excelente feria. Ella le dijo a Peter:
"En estos días que asistí a esta Feria del Sol. Me he sentido la mujer más feliz de la tierra, porque he logrado una meta más de las que me he propuesto".
Peter sonriendo, con una expresión de felicidad que traslucía en su rostro respondió:
“Te felicito” Luego le dijo:
“El destino nos separó, Te busqué y nunca te halle. Si te hubiese hallado, me hubiese casado contigo y ese niño fuera mi hijo, el que no tuve, mi esposa es estéril”
Ella le respondió:
“Eso es imposible, no siento una pizca de amor por ti, sigue tu camino, Yo seguiré en compañía de mi hijo, mejor es andar sola que mal acompañada”
El soltó una carcajada: “¡Ha,Ha,Ha!”
Se despidieron y ella con su hijo, retornó a su ciudad, para cumplir con sus diversas actividades.
This story has an interesting arc. Often, separated lovers will reunite and live happily ever after. However, you offer a complication. Years and experience have separated the two lovers. One is married. This makes a true reunion (as romantic partners) impossible for our protagonist. She declares:
With that line you manage to offer a moral within the story without preaching to the reader. This is exactly the way in which an author should present such a message.
There are issues with pronouns. This is most certainly due to translation. Throughout the piece 'he' is used as opposed to 'she'. The pronoun obviously refers to a woman, so that is a bit confusing. Nonetheless, readers can sort this out with a little effort.
You provide a narrative that has a significant conflict, one you resolve well. You also provide a solid character portrait for the protagonist.
Thank you for sharing this with us, @rammargarita.
Thank you for your comment and for clarifying about the pronouns, I will check, review and edit. May God bless you and give you a happy day.
I apologize, I checked and the pronouns referring to he and she are correctly placed.Have a happy evening.
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