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RE: Fast Lane

in The Ink Well9 months ago (edited)

Hello @a-ima,

Welcome to The Ink Well. Now that you're here, please have a look around and get to know how our community works. We are all about quality short stories and engagement!

You can find our community rules at the top of The Ink Well home page. We ask everyone who posts in The Ink Well to read and comment on at least two other writers' work in the community for every story published.

And be sure to visit the resources available in our catalog of fiction writing tips.

This story reveals an author with a vivid imagination and a love of writing. You take us into the character and scene early. We also are introduced to the unpleasant Fred. You set up the scene, a protagonist, and an antagonist. Great.

As the story progresses, you add more conflict: an anxiety disorder. What you have at this point is something like a story stew with all the ingredients. Good job so far. Then you leave us.

This story could go so much further. What happens after she starts to sweat? How does Fred figure into it, besides being a trigger? You can keep writing. Finish the great scene you have set up.

It seems you imagine an ending. Let us see it, also.

Thank you for sharing this story with us. We hope to read more from you in the future. We also hope you have a rich experience on Hive.

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Thank you for going through the story. I'm sorry I ended the story that way but I intended creating suspense from the write up