You offer good descriptions here, @bahnhoft. You bring us in the room with Elsa. We feel her sorrow, her unwillingness to let her sister go. The prompt is handled well, as is the skill challenge. That's great.
What would make this story really stand out would be a stronger resolution. What that would entail is in Elsa's mind an action, or decision that would indicate she had resolved her conflict. We begin the story with a conflict about her sister's death, and we end it with the same conflict. In the end she can decide to be angry. She can decide to accept the death. It's up to you, but a decision of some kind would be a satisfactory resolution.
Thank you for sharing this sensitive story with us. Have you engaged with two other members of the community this week? Thank you.