Thanks for sharing your story in The Ink Well, @camerafanatic.
We often provide feedback to help new writers develop the craft of fiction writing. Have you checked out our catalog of fiction writing tips? It provides a list of helpful articles on fiction writing.
You might benefit from these two articles:
- The Action, Dialog and Narrative: The Dynamic Trio article provides great tips for developing your stories.
- The Help for the Grammatically Challenged article provides important tips on how to use Google Docs to draft your stories. It will point out errors that need to be fixed, and you can fix them by clicking on them.
In your story, you use the word "hare" several times. A hare is actually another name for a rabbit. The word you need there is "heir" which is the word for a person who will inherit something, such as a throne, land or wealth.