This is an interesting take on terrified, however it would be even better with some additional character descriptions. We do not get to know much about who John is, or what he means to the main character here. Additionally, we highly recommend utilizing google documents to draft your stories, as it will help to catch errors by highlighting them for you to fix. We hope this helps! Thank you for sharing your story with us, and for your engagement with other members of the community!
I use google docs to edit but I will do better to keep a keen eye to detect the highlights.
Thank you for your encouragement and helpful tips.