Hello @faitz007 This is indeed an intriguing story, which fills the reader with suspense. However, this does not feel like a full story, as such we do want to note that we do not accept multipart fiction in The Ink Well. If you did intend to have this as a complete story, we hope you will consider adding a resolution to this tale. We have many great resources to help you along!
We often provide feedback to writers who are just getting started. The Ink Well has some great resources in our catalog of fiction writing tips. For example, we have tips on developing characters in your stories, and integrating action, dialog and narrative. These resources can help you learn how to include the important elements of fiction in your stories.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, and for your engagement with other members of the community.