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RE: The big bug party

in The Ink Welllast year

What a beautiful story, @innfauno12! A butterfly longing for the light follows a moth to the lamppost. At first I thought the moth, out of envy perhaps, would lead the beautiful butterfly to perdition. But no. The moths still don't understand what's going on, they are mesmerized by the light. But the butterfly does come to conclusions.
It is a beautiful story. A little more detail at the moment when the cricket mistakes, out of anguish, his daughter for a fallen leaf would have heightened the tension, giving the reader time to process and enjoy the suspense. You have created a completely believable fantasy literature story, as you bring together familiar and accepted elements such as the moths' taste for light with other elements of wonderful literature. Thank you for writing this story.

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Thank you very much. I'm glad you liked the story. Yes, you're right, I should have generated more tension in that part of the story.