We are relieved to see this is fiction, the affliction of the main character here sounds tremendously painful. There is a lot of nice dialogue in this story, and it was wonderful to see it implemented in action. However, outside of Lily's unexpected tenderness, the story feels unresolved. We recommend reading our article on creating a story arc for tips on filling out future tales. Thank you for sharing your story with us, and for your engagement with other members of the community.