You bring us a creatively written if not slightly repetitive (at times) piece. A great hook but then entirely narrated with action and no dialogue. The result is a story that promises a little more more than it delivers, and you left me wishing that your ending had delivered a similar punch to your strong opening hook. There are a few grammar issues which could be fixed with the use of an editor or writing in google docs eg: incorrect use of words eg: cite and site instead of sight... I also found your use of flashing neon dividers very distracting and I had to copy your story into a blank sheet to curate it as it was adversely affecting my eyes. I would strongly suggest against using dividers that attempt to outshine your writing. This was, however, an interesting take on the prompt and a nicely written effort.
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I will put all these to note, and develop on my next piece. Thank you