This story is tragic @kinganny. In future stories, consider adding a "story arc." This means that the conflict of the story is presented early on, and then you build suspense and interest around what will happen to the character. This conflict is then resolved in the end. Here, the plot is simply "A young man drank too much and died." There is no suspense, or character development.
We have some great articles in our catalog of fiction writing tipsstory arcs.. In particular, check out the articles on [adding conflict]https://peakd.com/hive-170798/@theinkwell/writing-tip-of-the-week-2-adding-conflict) and the importance of
Good luck and keep writing.
Thank you for your kind advice. It's very helpful.