Wow a wild situation! However, without any backstory, this tale feels incomplete. We often provide feedback to writers who are just getting started. The Ink Well has some great resources in our catalog of fiction writing tips. For example, we have tips on developing characters in your stories, and integrating action, dialog and narrative. These resources can help you learn how to include the important elements of fiction in your stories.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, don't forget to engage with at least two other members of the community as well!