Hello @mrnightmare.net. This is a moving story. The ghost of Mary is tragic and yet somehow settling. At least John wasn't abandoned. At least he now knows he wasn't forgotten. You do a very good job of setting the scene and putting us in the place. We experience the night through John's eyes and senses.
It would please us if the very indirect allusion to rape were not included. Perhaps you could say that Mary was robbed and killed (but don't get graphic please). You know rape is one subject we don't welcome in the community. You handle the topic very delicately, and that is appreciated. Still, it is better to keep away from it altogether. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this story with us.
I was trying to divert the stories not to be obvious but it's not that easy without a little bit of information. Anyway, thanks