Greetings, @precab. Ade really hatched a plot that ended up parjudicating him. A little more work on the mindset of the characters and the use of story elements can go a long way to improving your writing and thus your rewards. Here's a tip for you: Consider adding some dialogue between your characters, as well as some action.
These are two important elements of quality fiction that can bring a story to life. You have done a very nice job with the narrative, but it would be even better if you told some of the story in action, and added dialogue so the characters speak to each other. Here are a few resources for you:
- Action, Dialog and Narrative: The Dynamic Trio
- How to Write Dialogue in Fiction