This is a lovely yet sad story, which shows the deep bond between siblings. However, it would be even better with some additional clarity, and some editing.
Most notably, you have many spelling errors here. We recommend drafting your stories in Google Documents, which will highlight errors that need to be fixed. We hope this helps! Thank you for sharing your story with us, and for your engagement with other members of the community!
Okay. I am working on it. Thank you so much for your feedback. I am always looking forward to it.