Thank you for sharing that story with The Ink Well, we appreciate your comments on other writers' posts.
Here's some constructive feedback to help you in your writing. With a short story, even a very short one, we look for a resolution of some kind. Every good story has a conflict that is resolved in the end.
I encourage you to make use of our catalog of fiction writing tips. You will find guidance on how to build characters, integrate action and dialog, write story plots and add a story arc. Without a story arc, stories do not seem complete. So that is one of the most important skills to learn.
Good luck and keep writing.
Thanks alot for your constructive feedback,will do better using the catalog of fiction writing tips,I appreciate.