This is an interesting tale of discovery and tactics. However, without knowing who Mr. Fred is, or having any details surrounding this merger, it can be hard to find the significance of the narrator or his boss.
We often provide feedback to writers who are just getting started. The Ink Well has some great resources in our catalog of fiction writing tips. For example, we have tips on developing characters in your stories, which help the reader to feel invested in the plot, as well as follow along.
Additionally, it appears that your image link is broken, you will need to fix this before we can curate your piece. Thank you for sharing your story with us, and for your engagement with other members of the community.
The image link has been fixed. Thanks for the feedback