You are viewing a single comment's thread from:

RE: A Cookie for Your Troubles

in The Ink Well2 years ago

This actually works very well as a symbolic journey. Elias is lost in his life journey. What comes next? What will he do? All his plans have brought him to an impasse. He has no plan and is profoundly depressed. He hasn't got any motivation--to take care of himself, to make the next move.

Danica has the energy for both of them. Though there is no clear plan, she recognizes that they have to do something. Doing nothing won't work. So she takes them on this trip. To where? To the future that neither of them knows. They will stay at a hotel for the night, and try to follow whatever it is that fate has in store for them

Nice story. There are a few technical improvements you might make in your writing to help the reader's experience go more smoothly. For example, when Elias reads that last message, Misfortune and problems will never leave, unless you finally act and leave them behind, you might set the message off in italics. That would make the circumstance clearer to the reader, as it does here in this paragraph.

You wrote a good story, with great setting and excellent character development. Thank you for sharing this with us, @vincric. We appreciate that you engage with other authors in the community.

Sort:  

I see, thank you for the tip in writing. 🙂