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RE: The Ink Well Contest: Week One Draft - The Discovery Of The Century

in The Ink Well3 years ago

Welcome to the contest, @wrestlingdesires. Your story creatively applies the logline:

When two boys use a metal detector on the beach, they have no idea that what they pull from beneath the sand will have global implications.

The global implications seem even more relevant in these times when weather has become one of the biggest news stories.

You engage the reader and create credible characters. Your scene description is vivid. One small point that jumped out at this reader was in the exchange between father and son here:

"What happened, son?" Asked Dad. The two children quickly told their story, often interrupting each other. Understandably, the adults thought it was a coincidence.

In casual conversation between father and son we would expect the father to use the son's name, or nickname. Most parents don't refer to their children as "son" or "daughter". Even if you are familiar with a case where this happens, the use of 'son' will not sound colloquial (and therefore conversational) to most readers.

Congratulations on submitting the first story to the contest! More detailed feedback (in the spirit of a writing workshop) will follow from individual curators.

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Thanks so much for the suggestion - as well as the compliments :) I look forward to much more feedback :) One of my main reasons for joining the prompt each week is to improve my writing skills.