What a lovely fantasy story, of a young man seeking and finding his parents who have mysteriously gone to a Japanese temple, returning to their younger selves. A very interesting read! The giant and the circle of white light provide some great details that enrich the story.
Thanks for posting your story in The Ink Well. Remember to engage with the community by reading and commenting on the work of other writers. Thank you!
Hi @ubani1! Great to see a new story from you. I liked the mystical feeling of this one.
I have a recommendation for you. The first two sentences are a bit odd, and it's hard to understand what they are trying to say. It's your story, of course, and this is just an idea for you to consider. What if you removed the first two sentences and made a few edits to the third to make it a strong first sentence, like this:
The books and stories of ancient beings led to the place, and to secret portals that link a mortal to the Heavens.
This sentence would draw in a reader and make them wonder: What place? What secret portals?
What a lovely fantasy story, of a young man seeking and finding his parents who have mysteriously gone to a Japanese temple, returning to their younger selves. A very interesting read! The giant and the circle of white light provide some great details that enrich the story.
Thanks for posting your story in The Ink Well. Remember to engage with the community by reading and commenting on the work of other writers. Thank you!
Hi @ubani1! Great to see a new story from you. I liked the mystical feeling of this one.
I have a recommendation for you. The first two sentences are a bit odd, and it's hard to understand what they are trying to say. It's your story, of course, and this is just an idea for you to consider. What if you removed the first two sentences and made a few edits to the third to make it a strong first sentence, like this:
This sentence would draw in a reader and make them wonder: What place? What secret portals?
Again, it's just an idea!