RE: The Ink Well Contest: Week One Draft - The Discovery Of The Century

I see agmoore already addressed starting the story with a hook which is something I too find sets the tone for the story and drags the reader in...

Maybe if some of the sentences can include all the nitty-gritties, you have enough space in your word count to work in emotions, actions or teases... I hope you don't mind me giving you an example of what I'm gibbering about

| Soon the two boys were back at the creek armed with shovels, a spade, the metal detector, and even a large metal bucket.
With the aid of their new tools they soon uncovered a box which seemed to be made of heavy steel. It was tightly sealed. There was no lock, and it was small but very heavy. About the size of two loaves of bread.

For example only of course...

Back at the creek armed with shovels, a spade, the metal detector and a large metal bucket, the boys soon uncovered a box. Knocking it gently with the spade, the clinking sound of the heavy steel ran shivers of excitement down their spine.
The small heavy box, the size of two loaves of bread, was tightly sealed, with no lock.

I just rephrased it a little so my mind's eye can see the metal box and feel the boys emotions...but that's what I'd do - no right or wrong to it of course.

ps: I am still learning how to give feedback to fellow writers...