I dragged myself into my apartment, past the sitting room and kitchen. Playing a blind eye to the dirty dishes on my sink and the empty takeaway packs littered around. I walked straight into my room, stumbling over a pair of shoes I had worn yesterday and had kicked off just by the door, but I didn't care. Pushing aside some dirty clothes on the bed, I threw my handbag miles away, kicked off my shoe and let myself fall on the bed. I could still smell the fumes from Danfo public buses on my clothes. I paid no attention to it, and in a few minutes, I was dozing off to sleep.
My house was a mess, but I was too tired to care.
This has become my routine recently. I'll struggle with Lagos traffic which leaves me with nothing but being worn out. Sitting on the bus for hours to get to work, and when I do, there's a mountain of paperwork and endless meetings waiting for me at work. Plus, a boss who thinks a few hours from your weekends can also be included in catching up with unfinished work. Then, another hour to get home with a body and soul that's almost giving up the ghost.
Severally, I've thought of quitting, but when I remember that the bills never quit coming. I motivate myself and repeat the cycle.
The buzz from my phone woke me up. I woke up disoriented at first, still trying to figure out where and what was happening. Then the buzz came again from my phone, scaring the life out of me. Weakly, I picked it up without checking to see who it was.
"Hello," I answered with all composure.
"Zee, I saw you walk in. Come and open the door," Mama Chinedu's voice rang into my ear.
I dragged myself to the door and opened it to see Mama Chinedu standing there with her wrapper firmly tied to her waist. She looked at me like she was scanning my face, and then she shoved me aside and walked past me into my apartment, almost stumbling over a pair of shoes.
"Sorry," I apologized, shutting the door and walking back into the house with her. My head banged.
"I guess you're sleeping this early that's..." she paused as her eyes widened and her jaw fell in shock at the sight of my apartment. "Zee baby, what's going on here? I don't know you as a dirty girl but your house it's a mess. Since when did you start living like this? Do you want to fall ill?” She looked at me. There was a hint of disbelief in her eyes
I let my face fall to the floor in shame. "Ma'am, the workload at work these days is tiring, and by the time I get home, I'm drained of all energy in me", I defended myself.
”Yen yen yen yen" Mama Chinedu tried imitating me in a mocking manner. She walked past the sitting room to the kitchen. "Come on, Zerah, you don't cook anymore? This isn't life, wearing yourself out for little peanuts to survive" She pointed at the kitchen sink before turning to me.
"I don't know what to do. By the time I get back from work, I don’t even have the strength to lift a finger. It’s not like I want to live like this.” I said while searching for something to rest on, my feet hurt.
"I get it that you're worn out after work. But no man will want to marry a dirty girl so don't develop this habit because of work. I know it's not easy coming back from work to do the chores, that's why you have to set your priorities straight. Stress can be dangerous to our health, plus this mess. Check your appointment letter; if some of these stresses are not included in your appointment letter, speak to your boss." She shook her head, walked into my kitchen and picked up my blender. "You better sit up now before life overwhelms you and maybe then it's too late. I just came to pick up your blender, mine just spoiled tonight. Doh o So sorry" She tapped me by the shoulder
I stood there with a sting in my chest wondering why Mama Chinedu apologized to me. I never imagined that one day I would be advised on how to keep my house neat. I looked around my house, and she was right. She had always been right. Truly, my house was a mess; the air was heavy with the smell of stale food. I had let my life become something else. At that moment I realized I needed to pull up my sock.
"The truth is now, I just don't know why to start" I replied, closing my eyes. It hurt a little.
"Start small, little by little and you'll see how many tasks you've been able to complete. Also, set a schedule for yourself. Don't let your work limit you from actually living. Go back to cooking your healthy meals than all these takeaways. Doh" she apologized again and walked out of my apartment.
I heard my door shut, I walked over and locked it. Then I pulled off my work clothes and got to work. I washed the dishes, making sure my sink was neat. Then I proceeded to pack my dirty clothes into a basket. It was too late and I was too tired to wash them at that time of the night.
The next day I reviewed my appointment letter at work and set out the details of my job description. I was ready to do what was written in my description and leave out the ones that weren't. I didn't care if the order was from my boss. I also set boundaries, never to bring work home on weekends. It was a day set aside to rest and clean up.
On Saturday, I visited the popular Balogun market for the first time in many weeks. I made sure to restock everything I needed at home from fresh vegetables to yam, rice and beans. Then, when I got home, I made a whole sizzling pot of Afang soup. I felt proud of myself for eating a proper meal, well cooked by me, for the first time in a long while.
I felt proud of myself by the time I started seeing the positive effects of my actions.
I recall one Saturday evening as I sat watching TV, I heard a knock on my door. Mama Chinedu visited with a bowl of pepper soup. Her jaw dropped at the sight of my apartment. This time she had this look of pride in her eyes.
"One thing I love about you is that you take advice. That's nice."
I smiled, "And I also take a good bowl of pepper soup." I replied, taking the bowl from her without waiting for her to hand it over to me. Then I walked to the kitchen to get a spoon.
"Yeye Funny girl", she laughed. "Get two spoons; I think I'll watch this movie with you", she added, sitting down on the couch and picking up the remote.
The rest of the evening was spent gisting the movie and dragging a bowl of pepper soup.
I love your stories where Mamá Chinedu appears. She is a blessing to you with her advice and support.
You did the right thing for your well being. Sometimes it's hard to set boundaries but they are necessary. Good story, thanks for sharing.
Regards @zerah
This Mama Chinedu is quite nice and her advice was very candid. Most times, we take on more work than we can handle in order to please these bosses, even when it doesn't fit into the requirements. Funny thing is they wouldn't even pay higher salaries for such jobs.
Thanks to a friend like mama chinedu who will see your problem, tell it to you and help you out of it. Actually, if we plan and also know how to set boundaries, everything we want to put in place would be checked.
Hmm... I've learnt something from this story which is:
Start small little by little; set a schedule for yourself. Do not let your work limit you from actual living.
Thank you for sharing 💕
I really do admire your relationship with mama Chinedu. Certainly with her around, you are sure to always be on the right path. Joggling career and life could be such a herculean task.