The cold and hazy weather clung to my skin. The dust from the road itched my throat. The sun above threatened to burn my skin off. But none of them deterred me from making my way into the venue of my cousin's sister's wedding. I could handle the torment from the weather better than the pressure that was coming.
I stepped into the hall with a forced smile on my face while adjusting my dress at the same time. The music was loud, vibrating through
the floors and onto my chest. The hall was decorated with vibrant golden colors. The perfect colour any igbo man would go for. The chandeliers hanging above lit up the place with soft golden glows, casting their reflection on the wedding guests.
It wasn't long I stepped into the hall when my eyes caught the gaze of Aunty Ifeoma. The most dramatic of them all. "Ah, Zerah, you came back?" She asked.
I nodded. "Good afternoon Ma. Yes Ma, I came back." I greeted her, bowing my head a little in a respectful manner
"Ah, ah, your Mum didn't tell us o." She tapped my back. "See as you're shining. Is there something you're not telling us? Are we coming to your wedding next? Because, the way you're shining, eh." Her eyes scanned my body.
I forced a chuckle. "Not yet Ma. For now, I'm focusing on work."
She sighed and stared at me with such disgust. "Work will not cuddle you at night na".
I clenched my jaw. "I know Ma. But at the right time, it will happen."
She looked at me again. Her disgust turned to pity. "I'm just saying. You know a woman's time is like a flower; she blooms, and then… she fades.” She snapped her fingers at the last word.
"I know Ma. I need to go now. I need to find my mother" I lied as I quickly walked away from her without waiting for her to reply.
I knew from the onset that no matter how hard I tried to avoid it or hide. I was going to be the talk of the party as to when I'll be getting married. But I never expected it to be that quick.
I pushed past the crowd, past my cousins who were gathered with some aunties.
"Zerah!" Jenny, my favorite cousin, called.
I turned to see her beckoning me to come. But, I pretended to be busy with work.
"I'm coming. Let me get something over there." I lied. Honestly, I had no idea where I was heading to. But I knew I just needed to get far away from them. All of them.
Finally, I found the buffet table. "Maybe some food will calm me down." I thought.
I grabbed a plate, my grip was so tight that any more force would break it. It depicted just the way I felt inside. I picked a spoon and tried serving myself. The aroma from the food trays filled my nose, igniting my hunger.
Then I felt a rough hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Uncle James behind me. "Zerah, when did you arrive?"
"Good afternoon sir." I smiled. "I arrived a few days ago," I replied.
He looked at me surprised. "And you didn't care to come see us."
I chuckled. "I was going to. I just wanted to settle down first."
"Okay." He nodded with a smile on his face. And just like Aunty Ifeoma, I caught him staring at my finger. "You know, after this, you should be the next person we'll gather for her wedding." He said, pointing towards the dance floor where the bride and groom were dancing.
I tried to talk but nothing was forthcoming. I swallowed hard and nodded, trying so hard to hold back the rage within me. I was already getting irritated with all of them telling me about marriage. I bit my tongue, a trick I use to stop myself from blurting out
"I don't want you to feel bad. I'm just saying, it isn't nice you let the little ones overtake you. Stop sliding backward; it's not..."
"With all due respect Uncle, just stop! I'm sick and tired of you all telling me about marriage. Just stop!"
The plate in my hand suddenly felt heavy. I slammed the plate on the table and walked away. My shoes clicked hard on the tiled floor. I had already lost my appetite.
I got outside to find a quiet place under a tree. I took off my gele (head tie) and sat down quietly on one of the fallen branches. I was finally happy to be away from the chaos inside. I shut my eyes and pressed my palms against my face, breathing in slowly.
“I've been looking for you.” I heard a voice say.
I dropped my hands and turned to see my mum standing behind me. She looked so beautiful in her Aso Oke with gele.
"Mama."
She sat beside me. "I was told you stomped out of the hall angrily."
I swallowed hard. “They won’t stop.”
She smiled. “I know.”
I looked at her. "I don't know what these people want from me. I might not have a man, but I work hard, Mama. I can take care of myself."
"I know." My mum replied.
"To them, I.. I. I'm a failure." I stuttered.
"Shhh." Mama held my hands. "You're my daughter and you're not a failure." She said reassuringly
I let out a shaky breath. “They are family. They should stop making me feel bad. Like I’m sliding backward?”
She squeezed my hand. “They might be measuring progress by marriage. But I'm your mother and I can boldly tell you that I'm proud of you. You're not a failure. You only feel these things because you're human and it's normal. So, chin up dear."
As usual, her words were warm and soothing. Gently I laid my head on her shoulder. As the music swelled inside, we sat outside laughing at our jokes till the party was over.
I think every Nigerian or averagely every Nigerian is facing that pressure now
I am sure we are many.
It's very sad that there are certain demands placed on the family. I'm sorry you experienced this, but unfortunately it's not an isolated case. Many people go through this!
Thank you.
Family can be a lot sometimes, I can relate
It is frustrating at times.
I don't know what's nothing is more annoying like family pressuring one to get married. I believe there is time for everything, everyone should be left for the right time.
I wish they will understand that.