It's very sad how some African parents don't appreciate the efforts of their children, very bad!.
I remember when we were much younger, whenever I and my siblings took any position in school lower or less than first (1st) position, my dad in particular would complain instead of first appreciating us, he would ask if the person that took first position had double or two heads.
As young as we were, we laughed over it and just went ahead to ask for our present or gift and which were later always given to us regardless.
My mom on the other hand would always appreciate us and was always bubbling with joy and telling us how bright and intelligent we were.
This unconsciously gave me, I don't know about my siblings all the encouragement I needed to do much better the next term. In fact to be very honest, my mom has always been the encouraging one, whereas my dad is the Mr. Perfectionist, always wanting things to be all perfect and never anything less.
So we always turn to our mom for encouragement and motivation if we needed one because she was always more open to these.
Sitting in my room and overhearing my father do the same thing he used to do with us (I and my siblings) to my younger brother, I felt really bad about it.
To him it might just be a form of joke, but I do not encourage such habit, unknown to him that that simple action could mar a child's confidence.
My brother came back up with a pretty lovely result, all distinction with just a single subject that was a C grade, and instead of my dad to appreciate his effort first, he asked how sure my brother is that their teacher are intelligent or know what they were marking.
This is obviously a joke on his part cause none of my siblings are dull when it comes to academic, we are all very intelligent and smart asses.
Sometimes I marvel at our performances in school, just two days ago I was going through our drawer and trying to find materials to study for my upcoming examinations, I ran into my kid brother's test scripts and all I saw were a 9/10 and 10/10 scores and nothing less.
In my mind I was so proud of him without even saying a word to him, so I really was expecting that perfect result from him at the end of the term, which really made me sad about the statement my dad made jokingly about his perfect grades.
This boils down to saying that some times our parents don't even know the sacrifices and efforts we put into learning, studying and trying our very best to come out with good grades just to make them proud and make ourselves proud too, so the least they could do for us is appreciate our efforts.
I also remember a semester I presented my results to my father, I had more distinction in the first semester than I did in the second semester and all I had from my dad was that I was sleeping in the second semester instead of studying harder like I did in the first semester.
It wasn't a nice feeling trust me cause I was doing my very best, and I never failed any course or even had a D to begin with, so that statement wasn't really encouraging but I overlooked it and went about my normal day but vowed never to present my results to him again except when I was finally done with school.
I am not putting this out here to make it sound like my father isn't a great parent, but in this aspect, he seems more of a perfectionist and a disciplinarian than he is an encouraging father.
Children would and always desire their parents appreciation first before any other person.
They might not know or see the struggles their children go through just to make them proud, but it doesn't mean those things aren't there and the least they could do is encourage, support and be there for them and not killing the little confidence they had left in them.
Parents' support and encouragement helps boost a child's confidence in undeniable ways and I just wish our African parents would do better.
Maybe we could start by encouraging a child who came 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, and even 10th position in class and telling them they could do better and they believe in them instead of asking if those that took the 1st position are better off than them or had double head.
Let's not just train our children to be perfectionists, let's also support and encourage them when need be and when it feels like they are lacking in one way or the other.
Let's nurture the young ones with love.
And this isn't about just parents, siblings could also be a source of encouragement to their siblings and even friends too.
Above all, let humanly love lead.
PS: Photo is mine, except stated otherwise
𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫
*𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐖𝐚𝐤𝐲! 𝐀 𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢-𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐳𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫.
𝐀 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐭𝐡 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐬.
𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞, 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 "𝐀𝐛𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞".
𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐝𝐲𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐚𝐲
𝐇𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐄
𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠.
𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐞?
13 January ~ Monday