Thanks for your feedback.
I didn't even know about Mr e e cummings. And to be honest, it's more important to get the message across than being a person trying to be original, just being a copy cat.
of course, i could try to come up with my own style. there is, however, a reason why there are standard rules in writing. it is easier to read and to curate.
So, I believe I will start listening to both the feedback I've gotten here and my girlfriend.
Hive is interesting. Heaps I don't understand.