Oh. Thanks for engaging!
- What is your relationship like with your Father? Or, if none, what was your relationship like with the leading men in your life?
My dad was a legend and no man will ever live up to him. The end :D
- Do you have a son?
Yep. And I'm teaching him how not to be a man (by society's dictates of what this is... just sad 😔)
- I can shout Rape and people will take me seriously
Really? We have something called "The cautionary Rule" out here in SA. Legally added to legislature for such cases. It cautions the court to not believe the woman because women are dishonest and shouldn't be trusted. Only removed quite recently but the legacy lives on sadly.
Men are believed first around here. Always. It's just the way things are. As far as men being raped... I know a few who were as I work in the arena of mental health and addiction... they just don't report it mostly due to the stigma (see video above). Also very sad.
In some countries... if a woman is raped she is publicly stoned for being promiscuous. Still.
Perhaps your comment depends on where you live in the world?
- I can get into clubs and bars for free
Really? Send me the names so I can too, please :D
If a woman is gifted with anything by a man, it's because he wants to fuck her. The end. I'd trade paying to get into a club for being treated like an object any day. It's pretty awful and depressing... and disrespectful... #justsaying
- Men rush around to help me when I'm in distress
Please god send them my way!
Also - because they want to fuck the woman. Especially if she's in distress. Easy meat (see above). Horrific! In addition... they will withdraw offers of assistance if she won't. Fact!
- When I'm in distress I'm (usually) taken way more seriously than my male counterparts.
Totally incorrect. The diagnoses for "Hysteria", once seen to be purely a feminine "disorder", was only removed from the DSM in 1980. Yep. 1980! (You may know this already if you worked in mental health?)
Women are still seen as "dramatic", overly emotional or downright crazy if they are distressed about anything much.
-I can have sex with someone, get pregnant, and then the sole decision on whether it lives or dies rests on my shoulders.
Point taken.
But personal freedom and autonomy. If I do not have complete freedom over my own body then... well... I think this is probably the single most horrific thing a person can do to another human being.
This discussion moves into Human Rights Violations.
- I can also choose to fully birth number 5, and regardless of how the man feels about it, make him financially responsible for 18 years.
The man is equally responsible for avoiding unwanted pregnancies. If you are actually into equality. No-brainer. No discussion.
- I can terminate number 5, regardless of what the male chooses.
Repetitive. Speaks to personal motivation and lack of objectivity in this discussion. (answered above)
- People take violence against my gender WAY more seriously than any other - ie Where are the battered men shelters? Why aren't we talking about men are just as scared to go out in the dark at night as women?
Only because most men don't report it. See answer above please. Yes. Stats are almost 50% equal regarding domestic violence and abuse. I also worked in this arena for a year or so. Not fun.
- Violence against men charities don't exist, even although violence against men is way higher, and partner-relationship violence between genders is in similar numbers.
Repetitive and speaks to personal motivation. I'm sorry if you were hurt or knew someone who was. It's horrific and brutal. (also... due to not being reported because of stigma... so less support and facilities again. Stats incorrect though. Or perhaps that is location based. Here is it almost and even 50/50% - just under but around this)
- Child rape in schools is taken far more seriously when the victim is my gender, rather than a male counterpart, and the person that did the crime given way more serious jail time if he is a man.
I can't comment as have not researched this. I do know that an alleged rapist is usually out on bail for around R200, within days, here in South Africa. If they bother to investigate or arrest him at all. Often the police just ignore women who ask for assistance in South Africa.
- People consider my problems, and is largely documented in schools, colleges, universities and in the private sector. I couldn't list many problems men have because we don't talk or consider it much - men don't have problems anyway? Do they?
Due to gender stereotyping and social constructs. Which is why I spend so much time trying to discuss them and break them down. I have a son.
I answered these questions before I read the rest of your comment... to do it methodically.
I suspected you were hurt and I'm really sorry you had that experience.
You teacher sounds ignorant and should not be teaching any children anything, quite frankly.
She's a fucking idiot.
But you get them.
People who are into oppression because of the power and control? They are more on the scale towards sociopathic. You can't do much about them.
What we can do is up skill the good souls (like you) to be strong and resilient, to see the predators early on (prevention is the best way forward) and to fight when they have to, because it's not a gentle world. We should probably teach our kids how to fight and that they should then fight to the death if necessary. Like take the m*therfucker down fight hard.
And then teach them when to fight and how to walk away first, if they can.
We've gone soft, too scared to talk about the gritty side of life. All love and light and no truth or reality. And it's allowing people to get hurt!
So thank you for your courage and for engaging. And the time you put in to doing this
👏
Also... a male friend of mine shared his rape during the #meetoo campaign. Online on Facebook. He was supported by myself, and some other women, publicly.
Those that didn't do that for you? Ignorance and fear again. That's more about them than it is about you. That is not yours to carry, my friend. You can put that down.
Pretty much the same for anyone's "opinion" of you. Really... people see and hear what suits them best personally. It is what it is.
Stay you and keep up the good fight 💥💕
Apolgies for all these accounts. I have many lol. I forget myself sometimes
No worries.
I ramble around as well. I couldn't handle more than one account though
Geesh. 😅
Women from South Africa get refugee status in a variety of more progressive countries if they're in a situation of domestic violence btw.
We are not so proudly world renowned for how patriarchal and abusive the system out here is. Still.
Fucking embarrassing.
I've heard stories about police officers beating and threatening to kill their wives and their buddies threatening the same if the woman tries to get help.
It's Iike that 🖕🏼
Women and children have absolutely no voice here at all.
Also
Sorry for the rather short responses on my side.
Super tired right now and taking a bit of a break (finally)
I'll be back to learn more from you for sure and thanks for the conversation 👍🏼
It's how we may learn from each other and actually progress
👣