What do you do to manage yourself in the midst of realizing you've been played?
As a community leader I spend a lot of time in front of the camera. It wasn't something I can say I chose, but rather than something that arose in me, something that wanted to manifest in my life. The best way I can describe it is that it felt like intense curiosity crossed with feeling compelled to try something a little dangerous. I'm being honest when I say that being in view of a camera was downright scary until recently.
When I was a little girl I was fascinated with radio programmes, especially one's that allowed the speaker to connect with people in an interview in the quiet environment of a studio. Intrigued by how a deeply satisfying conversations can happen, I found myself as a young woman drawn into training for Active Listening.
Some time aftter that coursework, I volunteered as a call receiver for a suicide hotline. During that time, I learned a lot about my own emotional regulation in the face of folks reaching out in a state of crisis. I learned not to treat these calls as emergencies, but as opportunities to de-escalate what otherwise could lead to harm to the caller.
A couple of years ago I added on to this stack of my psych training, by gaining a certification as a Trauma Recovery Coach. All of this experience I have described are vital components of the trauma-informed creative mileau that is the underpinning of the Creative Work Hour culture.
This week we had what I call a breach in our session. Someone came who presented themselves to be one kind of person, someone I knew and had invited myself to the group some two and a half years ago, but they didn't come until yesterday. But on this TGIF, only 24 hours later, they proved to be someone not particularly safe for any of us to be around.
What started out as their sounding (off screen) as if they needed assistance turned into manipulation. But I followed my training, I didn't panic, I moved the conversation to another place and reached out to @gregscloud and kept him in the loop for my own safety.
I'm grateful to Greg for his own proper crisis management training and for having my back. As he was quickly pulling together local help numbers for the person that by then becoming more manipulative with each line of text written, I was quicly moving through denial, into bargaining, and then into acceptance of the current situation.
Stunned, I watched the remarks become personally directed to me on my laptop display. In response, I dropped my hands in my lap. I breathed. I said to myself outloud, "I'm not here for this. I'm here for them." Then I came back to my live session of CWH, the tab filled with my Creative Work Hour friends working away in flow while listening to the Game of Thrones soundtrack.
Each of these creatives is why I'm here everyday.
🫶 @adrienneb
🫶 @andysporring
🫶 @bitterirony
🫶 @bobbie0122
🫶 @creativegray
🫶 @drtimeka
🫶 @gregscloud
🫶 @hillarycad.witch
🫶 @n4trix
🫶 @steevc
🫶 @wailing.fong
Seeing this beautiful crew, here for the same reason I am, (the work), gave me strength to deal with the energy vampire awaiting me in the other space. I moved back to that dreadful DM. Stroke by stoke, I typed this.
Hours later, as I write this post, the individual I've described is still sending awful DMs my way. I asked @shadowspub for some security advise and I shall carry that now. But first, I want to tell you this.
One of the things I love about the Hive community, is that it is okay to talk about things not going to plan, people behaving badly, and that sometimes we just have shit days. I appreciate being able to post about what happened, to give thanks to those of you who encourage me, and to be here for you when your TGIF ends up in the loo.🚽
Take good care of yourself and keep in mind the words of Billy Joel with which he closes every concert, "Don't take any shit."
Much love, 😘
Alessandra
Hi, you look fabolous in front of a camera 🥰.
You know, the people we think we know can sometimes turn out to be something else. Something we had never imagined.
In this case, someone you think you know turned out to be manipulative, and even attacking you directly with their words. Maybe, their aim was to break or destabilize you. I wouldn't know.
Remember, we often get hurt by people who know us.
It's great to read that you managed the situation well, and kept them in their position. Big ups to @gregscloud, for stepping in at the moment and managing the situation well, too. That's the beauty of having a great team.
I just hope that one day, I'd find time to join CrWH again.
By the way way, tell the friend that
Enjoy your weekend.
!HUG
!BBH
Hi @luchyl!!
You are doing such incredible work on Hive. I feel like I run into your efforts at every turn.
What a star! @starkerz, @shadowspub & I were admiring your Distriator posts on our newly returned show, HiveSpace this week!!
Thank you for being such a sweet friend.
Your seat is warm at CWH any day you want it.
Love to you!! ❤️
Awnnn, now you've got me all blushing 🤭. Many thanks for your kind words!
I'm thrilled to hear that you Starkerz and dear Shadows, were admiring my Distriator posts. This means a lot to me.
I'm grateful for the warm invitation to CWH - you're an amazing host! Sending love and appreciation right back to you!
You handled the situation with grace and did the brave but difficult thing in protecting yourself and the group. There were triggers galore and when it turned into personal assaults and accusations, you did the right thing in shutting that down. Much love my friend.
Oh man, sorry this happened to you. But way to stand up for yourself and for CWH!
!LUV
!HUGHun, you handled that situation in the best way you could have. A true leader for our Creatives! Big kudos to @gregscloud for stepping up. You, my friend, are a true crisimanager!
Thankie, @andysporring! I need your encouragement.
When someone tries to take you down, it helps to have friends dust you off & tell you you’re good.
As we’re both on our Hive journey, you should look again at your Hive wallet & scroll down to LUV (or add that token if it’s not already on your list).
You now have balance to give out !LUV with your comments/replies.
This was my first go at LUV. We learn Hive stuff together!
(1/1) sent you LUV. | tools | discord | community | HiveWiki | <>< daily@andysporring, @alessandrawhite
@andysporring, sorry! You need more $LUV to use this command.
The minimum requirement is 10.0 LUV in your liquid wallet.
More LUV is available from Hive-Engine or Tribaldex
I hope it's not too bad for you. That person did seem very worked up, but they should not take it out on you.
!LUV
(1/3) sent you LUV. | tools | discord | community | HiveWiki | <>< daily@alessandrawhite, @steevc
Congratulations @alessandrawhite! You received a personal badge!
Wait until the end of Power Up Day to find out the size of your Power-Bee.
May the Hive Power be with you!
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
Check out our last posts: