Who I Am | Quarantine Reflections

in OCD3 years ago (edited)

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Who I Am? I think we all ask ourselves this question at some point in our lives. In my case, in my early thirties, I question myself again about my personality just like almost a decade ago. It is incredible how over the years we see ourselves in the mirror and we notice that although we are the same, we are no longer the same.

Every day I discover something new in myself. A new brand, a new feeling. I discover that there are things that I would never have done in the past and now they are part of my daily life, and I discover how I would no longer be able to do the same things that made me who I am today.

It seems contradictory, but it is my reality, and I do not doubt that it is the reality of many... But do not avoid thinking that many of these changes scare me a little. To begin with, being in love has brought me the most intense feelings I could ever have. This love has brought out the best of my essence, the best of my soul and all the good that I have to give as a human being.

But it has also brought to me such an animalistic overprotective instinct. And I don't want to be misunderstood, but for my girl I would be able to do everything. I care about her even more than my profession and I love protecting her and fighting for a better future for both of us, and we don't have children yet.

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Of course, everything that I have been in my adulthood is the result of the education that my parents gave me, and I consider that they taught me the best of human values; so much so that for many years as a young adult I have put the needs and feelings of others first over my own. I have always been a person who does not like to feel that someone is upset with me. I have always done my best to make everyone like me and make everyone feel happy with me.

Now after my thirty, in love, building a future and thinking in hindsight I realize so many mistakes. You think that people act with the same intentions as you, but they don't. In general, people love to take advantage of those who have a good disposition, those who are kinder. My way of thinking is changing. I do not regret who I was, but I do learn from all situations, especially now that I have removed the mask that did not allow me to see clearly those around me.

Right now I find myself in a strange struggle to maintain my values ​​and convictions while making myself respected and putting myself first before my own decisions. I don't know if it's right or wrong. But the inhumanity of humans is hurting me, to the point that I have gotten sick from stress, I never thought that was possible, but it has happened to me.

Excuse me for making a post talking about this topic, but I think I needed to express so many things and also make them known. Surely many will think the same as me; Furthermore, this time of quarantine has been enough for many of us to reflect on our lives, on who we are. I do not think that when life returns to normal we will continue to be the same as those of early 2020, and whoever is not someone new then I do not take advantage of this opportunity for changes and reflection that life forced us to take (it is my personal opinion).

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In conclusion, and after asking myself Who I Am? I believe that today I am a man determined to take charge of his life, a man who may have been slow to reach true adulthood, but now that I have achieved it, I need to continue growing towards good, towards love, towards family. I am someone who has learned from his mistakes and based on that I will work to avoid tripping over the same stones again.

Of course this is not the end, rather it is a new beginning in my life. Possibly in a few years I will be asking myself the same question. We are always in constant change and because of them, I particularly believe that we must pause in our day to day life and ask ourselves this question of who we are today, to never fail ourselves, to continue learning from our capabilities and where we want to go.

Again, I ask all my readers to excuse me for this emotional outlet, but I needed it. It has really been a time of reflection for me, and this very reading I know will serve me in the future. Before saying goodbye, I want to recommend everyone to surround themselves with the best people. Let's be intuitive when choosing our friends. Thank God I'm very good at it. Let's not let just anyone into our lives. And I tell the youngest not to be carried away by what they will say, be yourself. Their originality will make them stand out in the future.

The images that I have shared in this publication were made with Avatoon App. Thanks to all who have read me, and to those who support my words, thank you in advance. I hope you liked it and that my experience serves someone who is looking for answers. Do not hesitate to tell me something about it, even if it is against it, since I am not right about life and I am always willing to improve and listen to the testimonies of others. Thank you all and have a happy week.


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