Hi guys! So I started a facebook page just about the same time I started blogging here on Hive around April. I have been sharing my thoughts, feelings and stories there and if you remembered in my previous post, writing became an outlet for me to find comfort and get my thoughts outside my head. 😬
I just wanted to share one of my post here that unexpectedly went viral on facebook. And I guess from the comments and reshare that I read one by one, I can say that a lot of what I said was relatable in the Philippines. And I wonder if this is happening in other countries as well? 🤔
This was just a random thought I had to share on a morning before I left for work because I remembered one of my aunt who's working abroad. This is a personal experience and is intended to express in the hope of stopping this kind of mindset.
- originally posted on my facebook page: Chill with Shanna
Translated in English
WARNING: FILIPINO's TOXIC MENTALITY
When I was young, I used to hear my relatives (auntie or uncle) say:
"Let's go to (insert name of a "balikbayan" which refers to a Filipino returning to the Philippines, especially after having lived or worked overseas for a long period of time.) house, let's ask for souvenirs/gifts and money. Bring (insert name of a child) because she (balikbayan) owes her, she hasn't given any birthday gifts to her for many years."
So I grew up thinking that it's okay to ask from relatives working abroad because they are well off, they have more etc. Some would even bring the whole family so everyone gets a piece of the balikbayan box (a box filled with gifts such as toys, clothes, bottles of toiletries, chocolates etc. that is given to families and friends in the Philippines).
Then when none was given, the auntie or uncle would start insulting that balikbayan behind his back saying "She's so greedy and selfish, she's not giving us anything." "She's so rich but she doesn't even know how to help, she's rude and disrespectful." "She can't bring those money in heaven."
I know a lot can relate to this cause most Filipino families would have a relative working abroad. I mean there's nothing wrong if it's freely given and it makes both parties happy. What I don't understand is the backstabbing that happens within the family. Spreading hate comments to make others judge that balikbayan too just cause they didn't get what they expected from them.
Because of what I observed and heard from them, I slowly catch myself having that attitude, that I am entitled to receive things from well off relatives, that they owe me because I am poor and they have more, that if they don't give me then I have the right to insult them.
As I studied more about finances, I learned that :
Balikbayan side = It's hard to reach financial goals when you are trying to please everyone in the family (distant relatives, or relatives you only see when they need something lol) by giving in to their demands. Prioritize helping yourself first and only give what is extra.
Entitled Aunties/Uncles = its hard to reach financial goals when the practices and attitude need some fixing (unable to see the efforts and hardships just so that Balikbayan gets to where she is) and when there is lack of financial literacy (unable to manage their own finances, becoming dependent, no financial goals).
Thankful for the things I learned in the past year when I was trying to understand and get serious about my finances.
I am trying to UNLEARN what my relatives taught me when I was young, and trying to LEARN new practices/ideas.
edit (thanks to the commentor’s suggestion to highlight this):
Let’s stop this cycle by TEACHING OUR FAMILY (children, parents, relatives) THE IMPORTANCE OF FINANCIAL LITERACY.
It is important that not only 1 in the family who will shoulder everything and be the breadwinner BUT help each other MAKE EACH FAMILY MEMBER BREADWINNERS.
I will be posting more about finances and how we can support our family.
There’s no other way but UP. 💪
Thanks for reading my rant-slash-realization HAHA Have a good day!!
Photo for A-10-shun HAHAHA
Until now, I still get notifications of people resharing my post and reacting to it. I respect other people's opinions whether they agree or not. And I hope people make use of what they got from this post or any of my other posts for the better.
Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!
Welcome to Chill with Shanna. Shanna is a life enthusiast and a wanderer. She is easy going, spontaneous and want to challenge herself by testing her limits. She aspires to be an effective storyteller and content creator.
If you like to hear her stories and experiences, please upvote, follow and leave a comment. It will be much appreciated. 😊
The rewards earned on this comment will go directly to the person sharing the post on Twitter as long as they are registered with @poshtoken. Sign up at https://hiveposh.com.
Very well said, tagos kaayu ba! 😔
Feels like you saying NO to them means like ikaw pa madamot.
When they saw you posting and enjoying the little thing you deserve naman but for them you should be sharing it to them as well. 😔
thanks for reading @explorewithsasha !! Nice to meet you here on hive!
Pleasure is mine, see you around. 🙂
This is so true. I totally can relate to this. We also have a relative from abroad and what I don't understand is that why do relatives here in the Philippines would get greedy with balikbayan packages and would comment on what's inside instead of being grateful about it. Toxicity at its finest Jud. I am not surprised that this went viral, totally relateable! ☺
I know right! huhuh important jud ang adults in shaping how children thinks, fell into the trap once of being judgemental and entitled pero glad I don't think like that anymore. huhuh
for some its a laughing matter because they can relate to it but just wanna shrug it off. I have so many relatives that have been working in abroad and some actually lived there now. I just wanna thank my parents that we might not be as well off as my other relatives they taught us to be contented of what we have and always be happy for our relatives success. I once made a joke about balikbayan boxes in my workplace that in my life i never opened one then they just said "no worries' we will bring you a box tomorrow." hahahahaha.
i just hope for those who shared and read your post will learn and discontinue this kind of trait.
I love opening balikbayan boxes though same as when opening a gift which is very exciting then after opening im good with that na hahaha they can get it all.
but yeahhh hoping for the same thing too!
Tood gyud ni.
Congratulations @chillwithshanna! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Your next target is to reach 8000 upvotes.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPCheck out the last post from @hivebuzz:
We can relate to this. haha