**My personal thoughts as an abused child.
**
I truly believe when we see ourselves in the whole, meaning both the good and bad, we get to see other people as the whole, both good and bad.
But as an abused child, I grew up only seeing the bad in myself.
This translated to only seeing the bad in others.
It had it's benefits though. I was very able to quickly see through peoples bullshit and see the bully tactics hidden beneath their appearance.
Aside from jealousy, this made me despise the "cool and popular" kids in school and work because often times these people were narcissists and borderline sociopathic.
I saw the snake beneath the skin right away because the same snake tormented me at home.
However, it had a downside too.
I became paranoid and distrusting of everyone because we ONLY saw the bad.
This drove people away and ruined many relationships because we couldn't see and/or acknowledge the good.
It made me bitter and angry inside thinking Inl had nobody to trust.
Then as I grew up and tried to deal with my pain, I tried to see the good in people.
This had a reverse effect because only focusing on the good blinds you to warning signs.
It also leaves you open to self-gaslighting (something that was instilled in me through abuse).
That's why I truly believe the way to heal is to see yourself as a whole good and bad person and you will start to see others as a whole good and bad person.
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