Faith is everything: without it - you are screwed.
In any case, there are things to consider:
Honesty with unintended results.
In university I met a girl while still a little bit cut about a past relationship. While still friends we would talk about it and she did a lot to help me get over it, although I will refer to it later as that time, it was the only real connection I had. When we later started dating and later still broke up, one of his parting remarks was "Maybe you shouldn't talk so much about your ex".
Too little honesty is destructive.
A few years later, I started dating another girl and decided to follow this advice to the letter. However, in a heavy dose of irony, it backfired because her thinking was simply that by strictly avoiding the subject of my ex, I was hiding constant feelings for her.
As time went on she started behaving jealously. If I spent time with female friends, accepted the elevator to work from female coworkers, or even chatted with strangers to meet up with, she would get more upset and we would argue. Thus, in order to avoid this, I started keeping small things from her, as it was wiser not to tell her that I would get a lift from a married woman of 20 years of age who, seemingly is to compete. The absurd allegation that I was having an affair. As you can probably imagine, this did not improve the situation. What started out as a small issue turned into a cyclical problem that defined our relationships.
Too much honesty is destructive.
In another relationship, I dated a girl who had similar feelings about honesty and we used to tell each other absolutely everything. At first, we were both very happy with it, but after some time she started giving information voluntarily which I did not trust. Eventually I realized that an intimate knowledge of her previous encounters had, among other things, left me feeling very low and even aggressive towards others I now saw as a threat, here Even for friends.
net result? Sharp division and zero self-esteem.
A balanced approach is best.
For the past few years I have been in a good and fairly healthy relationship. We have our constraints, but I've been careful to try and open up to her about everything and by and large, it pays dividends because she trusts me completely (with good reason). . However, there is a caveat: I will tell him anything, but only if he asks. Some things she hasn't asked for yet (and I think she never will) are:
- details of my sex life from any prior dating;
- how I felt about my last partners;
- What went wrong in past relationships;
e.t.c.
My rule of thumb is just that if I don't want to know about him, she probably has the same feelings about mine.
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