Back then when I was a child, before life took away all my innocence, I was a very cute boy😌 Back in SS3 almost all the girls liked me, I wasn't so fancy, but I was funny and playful. The girls were always after me because I was cute and gentle. After I left secondary school in 2009, I travelled to Ebonyi state to write post utme in AIFPU. So I stayed back in the village. As a average fine Lagos boy😌 all the village girls liked me. Being a Catholic and an altar boy in the east was a big deal, not to mention coming from Lagos so I was popular (I'm always popular mind you 😌)
But then my cousin introduced me to a girl that had told him she was I love with me(wahala). After much convincing I decided to meet her, my naughty cousin was 4yrs older than me so his eyes were bigger than mine😂,she will treat you well he said, I tried to act like I didn't know what that means but I'm sure we both do😏(you gerrit? If you don't get it then forgerrr about it😅)
Finally we were together. The girl struggled to speak English, cos I couldn't speak igbo to save my life then 😂 so we went for a walk in the village, I didn't know what her intentions were but I followed her with a smile on my face. Then she took me down a lonely bush path in the village and stopped in the middle of the forest. Normal me would have ran for my life because that place looked like the evil forest in Nollywood movies, But I didn't move. she approached me slowly. I was numb, I could hear my heart beating so fast. I was inexperienced(I still am mind you😌) I didn't know what to do. Then
She put her hands around me and raised her head to kiss me, I was a very tall and lanky boy so I had to bend a bit so our lips could meet. Wow!! This feels good I said to myself. I must be a man now!! Wait till my guys in Lagos hear this! Then she turned around and wrapped my hands around her from the back. And with Some gentle movement I was lost in the beautiful world in the middle of the evil sambisa forest.
I was so gone that I didn't notice the huge dark figure approaching!
'Heyyy stop there' he shouted! It was one of the bad boys in the village and we were doing rubbish in his territory. He dragged me from my trousers,my small lanky sef was following him like breeze 😥😥 I was terrified, I was an Aje butter (iyawo go laugh now😒)
I didn't know wat to do. he pulled me to one corner in the bush away from the girl. then he searched my pockets to obtain me but all he saw on me was 50naira😂, no phone, no nothing. He was angry, he said I don't have money and I'm doing rubbish with woman, I begged that it was a mistake. He then told me to lye down on the floor which I did like an obedient servant, then he cut pieces of cassava stick to use and flog me 😭.. I knew I was finished. Tears rolled down my cheeks. Oh Lord! Why did I come here in the first place?, I should have ignored my cousin and stayed home. See wetin Peer pressure dey cause!😭 He raised his big hands to flog me then immediately the brave girl had come to my rescue. My knight in shinning amour 🥺she begged him to let me go, me I was just on the ground shaking with tears running down my eyes, chaii see fuck up. Finally he decided to let me go and warned me never to near the bush again, I said in my tiny voice yes sir.. As I walked back home with the girl there was dead silence, Not a single word was said I know she was embarrassed and ashamed of me! But me, I no send am, she dey craze! What if I had died? how would I explain my self to God? I would have been sent to the hottest part of hellfire for being stupid! Even devil would be using me as comic relief for the damned souls in hell...
I got home and Narrated everything to my cousin. He was mad! He said we should go and look for the guy and treat his fuckup. But me, I just silently went to the bed, cuddled up under the blanket in fear and shame, thanking God for saving my life and my yansh. I swore never to near woman again (and I have kept to that promise😌)
Fast forward 8years later to 2017, I travelled to the village again and went to my cousin's place, to my surprise I saw that particular girl again in the village. I hurried to her to say hello, but to my surprise she couldnt recognize me all attempts to make her remember me proved futile. I was a grown man😌, beardy face, broad shoulders and thicker voice(argue with your keypad). She couldn't see the lanky disgraced boy of 8years ago in me. So I walked away with a cheezy smile on my face. Then it dawned on me, where is that idiot? that bastard! that hoodlum! That Animal! That made me roll on the floor.. oh Lord, make I catch am now! I go comot all him teeth with blow. Nonsense!!😤😤
(True life story)