It's never good to lose loved ones, it's a traumatic event, but to live in rear constantly, even when your parents leave on a short trip is terrible. I don't think anyone can live like that, honestly.
Also, not know the future can be a good thing, not only a bad thing.
I had a look at your activity on Hive. Well, there's room for improvement as far as engagement goes, so I hope to see you commenting on other people's post as well, not just saying thank you to those who comment on your posts and skipping some too for some reason.
Another thing that would be great to see is building some stake and not cashing out your earnings the minute those arrive. Having some stake can guarantee more earnings and more support for the community.
It's really terrible though I try to distract myself with other activities also All cautions noted ,thanks a lot