Your friend Paul's story is truly heartbreaking, and it's clear that you faced a difficult decision about whether to reveal the harsh truth about his condition. It's understandable that you chose not to tell him, considering his emotional state and past struggles with suicidal thoughts. Sometimes, protecting someone emotionally is a tough choice, even if it means keeping a painful secret. It's a tragic situation, and your care and support for Paul during his challenging times are evident in your words.
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I appreciate the fact that you read and could discern the feelings in the post.I still miss till date.