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There are certain people you would have a conversation with and it will be seamless and flow naturally with little or no stress. On the other hand, there are people that no matter the efforts you put into striking or keeping a conversation it will have no headway. In the kind of conversation that lacks fluidity there are signs of a bad conversation that will be obvious such as awkwardness and uneasiness.
In a number of times, I have been in some pretty awkward conversations where we were saying absolutely nothing for some seconds and you may need to forcefully think about a conversation starter or two to keep the conversation going. It is more awkward when one question have to be paraphrased in a different way to end or prevent a pin drop silence. Sometimes you may realize that you are trying to crack a joke to create a comic relief which does not end up being funny as expected and totally defeats the intended purpose.
Well, if you have been involved in a situation where there is no smooth flow of a conversation, there is always a wish that the conversation should end as fast as possible so that you can leave the scene. In some cases you would wish that there should be a form of distraction such as a phone ringing, someone knocking on the door or a drink spills on the floor etc. The aftermath of such awkward moment may make you start blaming yourself for not being able to maintain a decent conversation, however, the problem might not be totally from you alone. It may be that the two of you do not have any common interests that can create an atmosphere for a good convo. Remember you've had some good conversation before?
I use to feel like I was not a good conversation starter until I came across people who are worse than I am. It is not easy for a shy person to easily hold a conversation for too long with strangers or people that they are not too close to without being short of what to say. Depending on the setting, I do prepare myself by having some questions or conversation starters in mind and hopefully the other person is quite helpful to keep the conversation going. However, if the reverse is the case, then we are set for a couple of minutes of awkwardness.
There is no doubt that the conversation would seem unnatural when there is a pre-planned set of conversation starters - when it is not a job interview. It is not always the best form of conversation because a conversation should be able to flow naturally without forcing it. Conversations are inevitable and it is impossible to avoid it no matter how you dislike talking to people. Good conversations are vital to the development of every individual, group, entity or community. Great innovations started from a round table where conversations took place. I have seen some behind-the-scenes clips of some movie blockbuster where the Producer shared that the movie started when he told the story for the first time in a round table meeting with his crew. It was at that meeting that they rubbed minds together to deliver a great production. We may cease to be human if we stop engaging in conversations.
The key to having a free flowing conversation is to allow the other people to share their thoughts too. There won't be a perfect conversation if only one person is doing all the talking. There are some people who have the habits of taking over a conversation by not allowing the other people to talk so that they wont be perceived as boring. Every person that want to have an healthy conversation must be open minded when others are speaking and be polite enough not to interrupt abruptly. We all have different ideologies and opinions, with active listening you will be able to develop yourself through the kind of conversation you engage yourself.
Speaking is a skill that you can learn and gain mastery in with time. So, don't miss out on the opportunities that come with having a conversation.
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