Have you experienced fear? The fear of failing in life and not getting what you want. The fear of setting a new goal and abandoning it in short order thanks to all those little negative comments in your head. Not knowing if you are going to succeed or what success really is for you. One of the things that keeps me from continuing something new in my life is that fear takes over me, the slightest mistake instead of seeing it as an opportunity, I see it as an easy way out.
Today I want to tell you about an anecdote yesterday, I started college. Yes, that's right. Yesterday I decided to implement studies back into my life, to start a career which I never imagined myself in but now that I think about it, it could be for me. I have always said that we will never know what is really for us if we don't try, so I made the decision to give my life a completely unexpected turn, meet new people, learn something new every day, work on it, motivate myself to follow it to the letter. I'm not going to lie, the fear remains, the insecurity can consume me, but I still want to try, I don't want to give up. I've only had one class, I can't sabotage myself this time.
I woke up a little late, I don't know if it was because I had had such a tedious night that I couldn't accomplish what I had planned. I went downstairs to eat as usual and at first glance my mother's excitement for me was obvious. The time was approaching and it was inevitable not to feel anxious about this new beginning, I got dressed up as fast as I could, I wanted to dress comfortably but of course, feeling pretty. I did a little makeup, I didn't want something heavy since I had to wear a mask for security measures, better to be safe than sorry. When I arrived at the university I saw an old friend, it was reassuring to see a familiar face, unfortunately, we didn't play in the same section, I felt terror, I felt panic, I didn't know who I was going to meet and if we would like each other. To my surprise, everything went better than I thought it would, I connected with 4 people who became part of my group for homework. We had nothing in common, we just shared the same curiosity for the race and laughter. They say that opposites complement each other and I think my case is no exception. I felt at home, I felt in a comfortable place, I felt I could ask questions without fear of being made fun of, I felt at ease. We all feel fear the first time, we all get full of questions in just 5 minutes. You have to live, you have to let it flow and believe me, I will do my best, I will do my part to make this one of the best experiences of my life.
I think I immediately connected with the teacher. We will only have 4 classes, the introductory course is short but precise. I sat down first, because I didn't want to miss any detail and I wanted to show confidence. The class was fun, a bit long but interesting, I didn't know that Physiotherapy consisted of so many subjects. I must admit that when I found myself sitting there listening to the teacher telling everything we had to do my mind just wanted to run away, I was thinking: Is this for me? I ended up liking it more than expected, it ended up being that career that you didn't know it was for you and you needed. There are things that I still haven't been able to assimilate, I even feel like I'm complicating myself in the beginning. I want to calm down, I want to do my part, I really want this new stage to go well, I don't want to disappoint anyone, I don't want to take that smile from my mother, I don't want to end up failing me. I have to let go of not wanting to ask for help, of thinking that having doubts is the definition of failure. I think we all feel like this at some time, starting is not easy, taking the step is not overnight, it takes a preparation not only physically but mentally, but I feel proud and I applaud myself for starting.
I find it a little funny that when I start something new in my head there are many illusions and an uncertain future is imagined. I have always imagined myself being an influence to the world, to people, to be a voice, to become a woman willing to help whoever needs it, without prejudice. It was inevitable not to keep an illusion about wearing a college degree with my name on it, seeing my mom in the audience applauding me for a new achievement, my friends, my nieces and nephews, we don't even know if a love. I don't want to rush, I don't want to get my hopes up, I just have so many expectations that I want to make them come true. I want to make it, I want to find those answers I have been looking for so much. Have you never worried about your future? It's all about working in the present, focusing on the present, so we don't lose what we want. In the same way, I will leave everything in the hands of destiny, working with it and letting myself be surprised, in a positive way of course.
Over time, life taught me that sometimes new beginnings are disguised as sad endings. That falling is also starting, that obstacles are just those little pushes to take the first step. I go at my own pace, I have not stopped moving forward, I am learning, without ceasing to be me, or perhaps being a new version of me, much better.
Te deseo lo mejor en este camino, comenzar algo nuevo siempre es motivante y te va llevar a caminos que pueden ser de grandes bendiciones. La fisioterapia en la parte de deportes, me parece super bien.
No pierdas esa ilusión, confía, cree y échale ganas para que todo se te pueda cumplir. Saludos.
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Fear is a human feeling, which affects the control and tranquility producing uncertainty. You feel "fear" because you only think of things that are not real, or rather, what your mind produces is unreal, you create false expectations or at least you do not know it at that moment and you anticipate a future that has not yet arrived. You should live more in the present, in the reality that you have now, since it is the only moment in which you exist, without anticipating or creating future occupations, that is to say, pre-occupation is to take for granted something that has not yet happened. Now, the occupation is to build a present with the security in leaving the mistakes in the past without thinking about the good or bad of the future....
Greetings @antonellarteaga and revive your self-confidence!
El miedo es un sentimiento humano, que afecta el control y la tranquilidad produciendo incertidumbre. Sientes "miedo" porque solo pienzas en cosas que no son reales, o mejor dicho, lo que produce tu mente es irreal, vas creando expectativas falsas o al menos no lo sabes en ese momento y te adelantas en un futuro que aún no ha llegado. Debes vivir más en el presente, en la realidad que tienes ahora ya que es el único momento en el cual existes, sin adelantar o crear ocupaciones futuras, es decir, la pre-ocupación es dar por echo algo que aun no ha pasado. Ahora, la ocupación es construir un presente con la seguridad en dejar los errores en el pasado sin pensar en lo bueno o malo del futuro...
Saludos @antonellarteaga y revive la confianza en ti misma!
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