It's absolutely pouring outside. As I grew up in very soggy locales, when it actually gets around to raining here, it feels rather comforting, like a hug for my psyche. When it rains outside I get all reflective, pensive, solemnly so.
Here lately I have been back at my rapid, maniacal pace of living again. I think a large part of it is that I just love living, another part is that the world is so incredibly needy, and another part is I am an adult, parent, mother, wife, child, etc., so there's always someone pulling at my strings.
I keep wondering if those tugs will abate slightly the more boundaries I set, it's not that I don't want to engage with those roles, I am just a bit fatigued, yet also so excited about living.
The dichotomy of the two intersecting is quite something to ponder.
But this is not supposed to be a too serious of a post. It's just that I have been thinking a lot lately. I've been pondering purpose, time, and behavior. I had a phone call this week with a friend I haven't really conversed with for several months, and it was like we had spoken to each other the day before.
What really struck me by the interaction was the situation. Theirs was still the exact same. The exact same problems, the exact same behaviors, the exact same mindset.
My situation, well, it has changed.
Because change flows where the intention goes. I've been working on my mindset and how I view things for several years, but this year, this year I went big. I learned to say no, I restructured relationships so that they weren't causing me harm nor was I enabling people any more.
Because that's the thing, I had to learn the difference between help and enabling. Help is something that people need when a situation arises that is so overwhelming that they need assistance. Enabling is refusing to change and expecting others to facilitate your lifestyle.
I am very guilty of enabling people I care about, and this year, this year I came to terms with it. And let me tell you, when you have behaved one way your entire life, it is incredibly difficult to change those neural patterns. You know what though, it is so beyond worth the dip into the discomfort.
The more I embrace virtue and behave in a manner that edifies others through the discarding of self-serving behavior, the more peace I feel. It's really rather amazing. No longer am I operating in a state of fear. Nope, not this Kat. I don't need to feed the emotional state of others out of a fear of being discarded or a desire to dispense comfort. That's not my purpose. My purpose is to be an agent of compassionate and caring empowerment. No one will change without a rope tossed to them, but it is their job to pull over and secure the rope.
Mindset is such a powerful thing.
And I have so very much more to learn.
I am definitely going to stumble and mess up, but I am being a lot more kinder to myself about that. It's not intentional, I am learning, and learning as a mature adult is quite a bit harder than when you are young and all those neurons are firing fresh. That said, I do have a ton more patience now, which is quite nice.
It's my hope that as I share my struggles, insights, and triumphs on here on occasion that someone else may see I'm a very real person and cut themselves a little bit of slack. Life is a tapestry of awesome, and just living it takes more than a modicum of courage.
Living life excellently takes something a bit more, humility, courage, and grit.
I'm doing my best to embody those descriptors, and I am glad to have a magical, supportive, most wondrous place to share my journey.
I've been trying to practice that no word for a while myself . For such a little word, it's quite hard to articulate!:)
For real though! Of course some toddlers got it mastered 😉
I’ll be practicing right there with ya!
!PIZZA
Thank you @ewkaw and @qurator!
$PIZZA slices delivered:
(2/15) @generikat tipped @deirdyweirdy
Hmm
You just made me realize the difference between helping and enabling
Nice post!