"We'll always be in the pursuit of chasing balance and maybe that's what we're meant for."
Sometimes I wonder what goes through people's mind or even family when I am just normally living my life. Sometimes I wonder how should caregiver looks like. Aren't they also allowed to be happy and normally living their life? Should we constantly look in despair and beg for help all the damn time?
Sadly, looking like I am in despair isn't something I learned quite well and almost impossible to do. I'll look like I'll have fun despite whatever challenge life throws at me.
Afterall, nobody likes chronic complainers. Besides, I believe that when life throws you lemon,you just have to find ways to turn into delicious and fresh lemonade. So, today it's all about that, how I celebrate some small wins during this tough time.
It took a while for me to reflect that basically I've got what I dreamed of. Many years ago, I dreamed to have a house where I have the full control on how its run.
Obviously, that stems from the aesthetic videos I've seen and their perfectly curated home. Well, now I have a house that I have full control on except it isn't as aesthetic as in those perfectly curated home.
Still, technically my dream came true.
The thing is what I don't really consider was the aesthetic part is going to take me a bit of work 😂
Rather than hoping that my place magically turns into an aesthetic house, I decided to acknowledge that it's going to take some work to transform the space into the house I want to live in. So, these days, in the morning I have a habit to declutter the whole space and that means throwing old items that don't really have its purpose in the house anymore.
During the evening,I typically would make dinner for my mom who's at the hospital. To save costs, we decided to do this since buying food from the hospital can always add up. My dad typically stays there more than a week at a time. The food that I am cooking varies too but lately, I enjoy having this Gyeran Bap, the Korean version of fried egg with rice. It's really simple to make it basically just fried egg, sesame oil, soy sauce and that's it. My mom likes it too and it's why she doesn't mind eating this often.
After hospital these days , I typically round up all the trash and that was when I have more energy to do some heavy lifting and going outside. I don't really like going out during the day because it's too noisy and there are too many visual clutters. I slowly accept that I am okay with either starting my day at 3 AM or around the afternoon 🤣 cause again, the balance I was looking for is going to be some type of vain pursuits.
Just realizing that it's fine if the balance is out of reach and if our life isn't always the way we want it to be were my smallest win. We simply just have to live in it and celebrate every smallest win even that includes just getting out of bed.
 | 𝘔𝘢𝘤 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘫𝘢 & 𝘤𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘶𝘳 . 𝘈 𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦, 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴, 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘺. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨, 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴, 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸𝘴, 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵. 𝘖𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘯, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺. 𝘚𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴. 𝘍𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘫𝘰𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯! 𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘱𝘷𝘰𝘵𝘦, 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬. 𝘈 𝘳𝘦-𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘰. |
Congratulations on having your home! That is already a huge thing that not many have (or will ever) accomplish (unfortunately)... As we got our first (our OWN) home last year, I can completely relate to you about "making it a dream home"... It is a process, and it could happen or not, but the most important step is behind us... We do have HOME!
To "de-stress" myself from rushing up the dream home thing, I'm giving myself a chance to change the home if I don't like it... Maybe this home isn't destined to be my "dream home", maybe it's just the part of the journey to the right one... But, it IS A PART of it, and that's a big WIN!
I saw yesterday a banner that said: "It's OK to not be OK"... which could line up with your post and transform into "It's OK to be out of balance, as you can have a reason to work to get back into it" 😃
Send greetings to your mom! I hope she will get well soon!
That's what I told myself as well and making it a dream home would take time 😅 I did some renovation work a bit last year and to make it feels like mine. The thing is, sometimes we also get caught up chasing for perfection without recognizing that what makes a home is actually a mixture of comfort and the people living in it 🤣
It's my dad's whose terminally ill and my mom is the caretaker at the hospital. It's been pretty exhausting year having to go back and forth hospital which made the whole renovation and re-arrangement halted. I was supposed to also host a housewarming party sometime this month but Alas, my dad back to hospital. I am sure there are silver lining to it all.
See you around 😊
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I can relate and I'm sure others can as well. It's important I think to accept are current state. Just as important we have to try or attempt to chip away at it.
I absolutely love this statement. Yes, we have to work with what we our dealt with and make the best of it!
Congratulations on the house. Now all that remains is making it the home you want it to be. Like our balance in life a house takes work to get it where we want it to be :)
I've been through a lot of changes lately and as much as some of them are challenging, I am going through it one day at a time. I've always tried counting my blessings no matter how small that is which honestly kept my spirit up despite challenging times.
😄 Life is always a work and now I am content knowing that maybe there's no balance or whatever is people try to portray it to be. I just have to be me and making the best out of every card I am dealt with.
Starting the day by 3AM is quite a quota😭😂😂
It's strange but a lot of people who read me knows that 3 AM is either the time to go to sleep or when I start my day 😄
😂😂
Finding the right balance in life is a task, i'm 27 but I feel like i'm 58 and cranky 😂
hahahahaha I feel so old too but minus the cranky. I am not cranky, in fact, I am too zen and that's something weird to me
I want to be Zen in life 😂 but I don’t see that happening anytime soon.
We can be zen when we're older. Let's not give up while we're on our 20's hahaha
Good point haha!
Wow, truly deep and real, although the truth also influences many things, life is beautiful as long as we know how to live it, but in short, we cannot stop dreaming, I still want to have my own house but the truth is that it has been difficult for me, but I do not stop working for it and continue dreaming. Excellent post.
From my experience, you can really dream about anything. They don't really come in a year or two and sometimes takes a decade. But don't stop dreaming about it and remind yourself once in a while. Just know that it may come true and sometimes it's also not in the way you wanted it to be 😂 but the essence of the dream is still there. I hope you'll have your own house soon 😊
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Often I do wonder why is she online at European time?🤔
A home doesn't necessarily have to be IG pristine and aesthetically perfect, it is whatever makes you comfortable and makes you feel you. Enjoy it 😊